Why is it so easy to hurt ourselves? There are many ways that we do this. At night, I lie awake in bed and think of scenarios that only make me sad. Things that will never even happen. I keep myself awake with these kinds of thoughts. It's hard to sleep when you can't control where your thoughts go. I can't make my mind shut up when all I want to do is sleep. There are many ways that we hurt ourselves and we really need to stop every single one.
For me, it generally starts when I lay down to sleep. I think of good things so I can hopefully drift into a peaceful rest, but then something changes. My thoughts take a different turn. I starts to think, "This one thing could happen and ruin all of what makes you happy." As soon as I entertain that thought I get flooded with a thousand more. Our brain can be our worst enemy sometimes.
It's our brain that tries to bring us down even when we've been feeling good about ourselves. There will be days when I look at my reflection and think, " My makeup looks really good today, too bad my hair looks terrible." In the same thought I give myself a compliment, but then take it away. Sometimes it's almost second nature to do that to ourselves.
It's not always looks that can get us down either. Being in social settings is another thing that can bring me down. I am a rather soft spoken person. There have been countless times where I have been talked over. I let myself think that no one really cares what I have to say and that I'm not important. Honestly, the people probably just didn't hear me. It's not that they don't care. There are other times where I feel like I am more free to be myself, but there are even problems with this. Sometimes I get really into what I'm talking about, but after talking for more than a few sentences my mind tells me things like, "You're so obnoxious. Stop being so annoying and just shut up." It seems like I can't let myself be happy in either situation.
One of my biggest problems comes from my failures. I know that failure is not always a bad thing. It's something we can learn from. In those moments though, I feel as if that one defeat means I'm not going to succeed in anything. Something that could be so small to other people feels as if I've lost a major battle. Whether it's a bad grade, or an art project that just isn't turning out like I want it to, I begin to feel overwhelmed. It's things like that that linger in my thoughts. "You can't even succeed at an art project and that is the one thing you are supposed to be good at. How do you think you're going to get a job when you can't even do this simple task?"
These are the ways we hurt ourselves. We let our thoughts overtake us. Our mind can be like a wild animal at times, almost impossible to control. We can fight these times with positive thoughts though. Even if they are hard to believe at first, we need to counteract the bad we let into our minds. When your mind tells you that you are not beautiful say to yourself, "No, I am beautiful. I love my hair. My eyes are the wonderful color of chocolate and my smile makes everyone around me smile." When your mind tells you that you are a failure remind yourself saying, "Just because I did not succeed in this one thing does not mean that I myself am a failure. Sometimes I will have to fail before I succeed. I will learn from this mistake instead of letting it hurt me." When your mind begins to tell you that no one really cares, name off the people in your life who truly love you. Don't let your own mind be your enemy. You can fight those attacks. It also helps to have others around you to remind you to keep fighting. You can win the battle in your mind. It doesn't always have to hurt you.