I've written articles on music before, so if you've read them or you know me personally, you know what I like. If you're new here, however, let me break it down for you.
Catch me walking on college green and I might be listening to my preferred alternative style of music, or possibly the 'Teen Beach Movie' soundtrack. Or maybe Frank Sinatra. It depends really, on the weather, my mood, the day of the week, the moon phases maybe? There's really no rhyme or reason to it, it may just be whatever the shuffle gods present to me at that moment.
Waterparks, though, is a band with history for me. The first time I heard their music was live in concert with my ex-boyfriend. It is one of his, if not his absolute favorite bands. The one thing that always brought us together (it was a horribly abusive and toxic relationship) was music. So, of course, I loved them too. Love.
Each album they're released has always reminded me of him. Their new album does too, but in such a good way.
Lead singer Awsten of Waterparks had so much love for HIS ex-girlfriend, but she cheated on him (I think, from what I remember the ex telling me). His ballads and feel-good songs from his happy relationship always resonated with the little happiness I had in my past relationship.
Now THIS album, wow, this album is literal gold. Every single song on it resonates with me more than any of their songs ever have. It seems like Awsten is going through similar feelings I am and have been going through throughout the crazy and topsy-turvy situation I was in.
I'll break down a few of my favorite for your reading (and listening!) pleasure.
1. "Dream Boy"
"Build a boy, pick my pieces." Dream Boy mixes my vibes a ton. It reminds me that nobody's perfect and that no one should try and change you. My ex was a control freak, he always wanted me to do this and not do do this other thing. I was always the one that tried to change myself for him too, when he desperately needed an attitude adjustment. It reminds me that in my future relationships no one will be perfect, and that I should not build myself to be said person's "Dream Girl." ;) Although the vibe is much more beginning-of-the-relationship lovey-dovey, where I'm actually at right now, so it's cute n stuff :)
2. "Easy To Hate"
GiphyThis song gives me insane lovelytheband vibes, if that's your vibe as well. This song hits different, my ex-boyfriend told me all the TIME that I was "easy to hate" and "hard to love," and I'm wondering when this song was released because maybe he was quoting this song all along! If he was, that's fine, I absolutely adore this song. His hateful words used to bounce around in my head, but instead I have this beautiful song that wraps his feelings and his words all up into a wonderful bow. It took some time but I got to the same place as him, where I hated him more than I loved him. This song helps me understand that whole dynamic we had, which was toxic, but through the music I forget about all of that. It puts me in a smiley mood, I dance all over campus to this song in my headphones. What used to tear me down now puts me in such a great mood and helps me continue to move on every single day.
3. "High Definition"
"Squeezing out my dopamine" really gets me in this song. Because we were music freaks there were songs that reminded us of each other of course, and his for me at one point was an incredible song called 'Dopamine.' Since we were long distance towards the end, not being there for him took a toll, why he drifted before I did. The vibe of this song helped me understand that he felt something big was missing while going through the same routine while I was off doing all new things with new people while missing only something smaller. When I listen to this song time almost stops. Maybe that's how he felt when I was gone. The lyrics in this song are very real too, and the way that they're sung make you feel like you're floating. A very chill vibe song.
4. "Never Bloom Again"
This song entails the difficulty it is to move on from someone you really care about. You see them in everyone and everything and you feel like you can't escape them no matter what. It mentions the way those relationships could turn sour and toxic, especially if you're having a difficult time already, and the sting and spots in your eyes that remain long after it's over. All these feelings and nostalgia's wrapped into a tempo-changing song at about three minutes long. It's playful "all the girls in Los Angeles look like you from a distance" will have you repeating it in your head over and over.
5. "[Reboot]"
Oh, Waterparks and their repeating themes. "I never promised you your dream boy, I'm better as your chew toy." Yeesh. This song definitely lashes out at the broken promises and wasted time relationships that ultimately end. It embodies the weird, empty way you feel after you've managed to claw your way out of a particularly bad relationship. You feel like a wrecking ball, like everything was your fault, and you'll ruin every future relationship you have with your emotional unavailability. Being in an abusive relationship does that to you, and I've definitely felt that on many different levels throughout my recovery process. If you're feeling this way now, give this song a listen, maybe scream a little bit, then keep your head up, because you WILL heal.
6. "'Worst"
When he first heard this song, I bet you any kind of money my ex grinned from ear to ear, thinking this song was written specifically for him. Jamming out to this song empowers me since he did tell me that I was the worst not only relationship-wise but the worst person. It took me a long time to no longer believe that, and I do relapse sometimes. A lot of the things Awsten sings about in this song were things he always falsely accused me of doing, so loving and listening to it has me put on my evil smile a little bit, like yeah, go ahead and think that I'm the worst because I'm actually the best you'll never have again...take that!
That is less than HALF of the beauty and my personal connections to this album. I linked every song to their titles if you're interested in listening to them! Hats off you the Waterparks boys for producing this golden album. And a personal thank you for helping me cope and understand the darkest part of my life.
Go give it a listen. Enjoy!
P.S. - If you've ever been in or are in an abusive relationship, talk to your loved ones or a professional. Try to think objectively and with an outside perspective. I know it's hard and I know you want to do everything you possibly can to make it work, but you're being bashed emotionally, mentally, and physically. Please do what's best for you and know everyone you care about is rooting for you. You are strong enough. It is okay to give in sometimes. It took me over three years to fully step away; you can too.
