Hello everyone! How are you?
My name is-
Oh sure! Water- Absolutely- Can do!
Would you like lem-
Oh some coffee? With milk or cream-
Oh I see, here starts the theme
Where everything I say gets cut
By your impatience which begs me to shut
My mouth and smile and wait and play
A patient person who will “ruin your day”
Because we can’t make substitutions
Which is clearly not our institution’s
Or establishment’s fault. It’s mine!
I’m also to blame for the steak-
“It’s rough! It’s tough! I’m lucky I didn’t break
My damn tooth on this thing- “Yes, Sir,
I’m not trying to be sassy or bratty or rude,
I’m simply trying to help y- DUDE
Will you LISTEN to what I’m trying to SAY
I didn’t come in to have my day
Be ruined by someone who wants a soft
But well done steak and who doesn’t hesitate to cough
In my face when I lean in to ask what you said
Because you’ve mistaken your menu for my head
Or my ears or wherever you’re aiming
But I can’t help you if you keep on complaining
And don’t let me leave to grab help-
Yes, I know sir, you’re unhappy- Welp,
I’m sorry I just got another table!
My manager will be more than able
To help you, Sir, and I’m sorry for the trouble.
I’m sure they will give you a coupon or double
Your dessert size, if that would be better.
Your wife’s upset too? Well if you’d let her
Order her own meal she wouldn’t be.
You’re right, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be
Voicing my opinions, I should be grabbing drinks
For this new table, before they think
That I’m slacking at my job and decide
To not leave a tip or to just hide
A pile of change below a napkin
That’s stained with a note which will blacken
My mood for the rest of the week.
Something nasty or crude that will reek
Of prejudice against a working class
College student who “Has a better ass
than a work ethic”, anyway, Sir,
Have a nice day. Yeah, yeah, sure.
Anyway, Hello everyone! How are you?
My name is-
Oh sure! Water. Absolutely. Can do.
