By the second half of high school, most people have their plans for after graduation already made. I already had my college and career plan settled. Four years of carefree college experiences and a new path for my life. What I had not planned on was being a pregnant with only a few months until graduation.
I had watched my best friend and countless girls around me go through a teenage pregnancy. I never thought I would end up in the same boat. My life was supposed to get easier the closer I became to graduation. In one way I was lucky; I didn't have to come to school when I was the most pregnant and I would still be graduating with my class. However, coming to terms with the fact that what I wanted for my life was not going to be feasible with a child was the hardest thing I had to ever do. All of those plans I had carefully crafted for myself came to a screeching halt.
The thing about teen pregnancy is that the responsibility falls mainly on the girl. It's not just the physical act if carrying the baby but also the one handling all of the judgments that are so casually thrown her way. There is an unsettling number of these young mothers who are required to raise this child with little to no help from the father, yet society allows this to happen.
This is not to downplay those wonderful, young dads out there. But it seems that because men are not physically attached to this child they are less inclined to care for it. It's a sad fact, and yet, it is one our society has for the most part ignored. Women are supposed to be held accountable for their actions, but they don't hold the same standard for men.
Truth is, even when you take every precaution, you can still end up pregnant. And now the decision-making is placed on your shoulders. I was a teen mom. I had taken the precautions. Yet, on the other end of the phone, I heard every reason for both keeping and ending the pregnancy. It's a shame to question a child's life but, given the situation I had, I can totally understand why that decision is even an option. This decision doesn't take everyone the same amount of time. I knew from the beginning this was not going to the normal family dynamic. I was now not only a teen mom, but also a single mom.
My life path changed drastically with the addition of my son. I had to find the best way to provide for him, which meant that college for me had to be put on hold. Instead I went to cosmetology school while working to set a path for our future. It wasn't easy. Life isn't easy for anyone. But as a mother, there are more sacrifices that must be made. Quite often I found myself asking why I was working so hard with such little reward. My mindset has become that after each little reward, they will grow in importance.
Six years after graduating high school and having my son, I have become a licensed hair dresser and will have graduated with my bachelor's degree. I am not a statistic. I am not what society would lead me to believe. I am so much more than just a teen mom.
The best thing about being a young mother was that it forced me to be the best mom I could be. Being a good mother became a priority because, at the time, I was all he had. It truly is twice the work to raise a child on your own. Maybe I couldn't provide my son with the luxuries of a two parent home, but I could teach my child everything I learned about people and life. I can teach him that even when you do everything you can for others you will still be judged on your biggest mistake. I can teach him that judgement of others and their situations doesn't make yours any better and vice versa.
