I can easily say that last week definitely wasn’t a good one for me. It wasn’t good for a lot of people all over the country. On Wednesday, I woke up sad and embarrassed with what our country had done. But above all else, I was scared, and that fear didn't subside in the coming days.

As a member of the LGBTQ community, a Trump-Pence Administration is something straight out a horror film (or the 1950s, both are equally scary for the LGBTQ community). In January, Trump said that he would “strongly consider” appointing judges to the Supreme Court with the intention of overturning marriage equality. Sunday on 60 Minutes, Trump evolved his stance, saying he was "fine" with same-sex marriage, but his views still seem less than accepting. His running mate, Mike Pence, is ten times worse, though. Pence opposes legal protection from discrimination for LGBTQ people, is strongly against marriage equality, and worst of all believes in conversion therapy as a “cure” to homosexuality. Pence even sought to reroute money from HIV and AIDS research to instead be used to support conversion therapy.

So, naturally, my first reaction was to take the election of Trump and Pence as a personal attack against me and my community as a whole. Those feelings were only exasperated by the wave of hate crimes that plagued the United States in the following days and still continue now. I have friends who have received death threats because they’re gay and out. A sister of one of my high school classmates was told to, “Go back to Africa.” Bigoted pamphlets were placed into one of my school’s newspaper receptacles. A North Carolina branch of the KKK has planned and publicized a celebration rally in early December. It was, and still is, terrifying for the LGBTQ community, minorities, and women everywhere. I grew extremely angry at the situation we were in, and the people who let it happen

But after a few days of thinking and reflecting and trying to rationalize what I was feeling, I decided on a few things. The first is that I’m not mad at everyone who supported Trump. Some of my very best friends did. They have a right to cast their vote for the candidate of their choosing, and I can’t fault them for that. Not many people voted for Trump based on his bigotry and hate speech. Now, that being said, in order to vote for Trump they had to, at some point consciously or unconsciously decide that they were going to prioritize other issues above the rights and lifestyles of the LGBTQ community and minorities who have been on the receiving end of Trump’s hate-filled platform. Being part of the LGBTQ community, I wish that they hadn’t. I wish that everyone would want me to have equality and rights above all, but some people thought it was worth the risk - I mean, hey, they didn’t have to risk any of their own rights, so I can see why they wouldn’t mind risking mine in the hopes of a better deal for themselves.

I also realized that anger can be destructive. It was hard not taking my anger out on people I knew who voted for Trump. People all over my Facebook page were asking to be unfriended by anyone who voted opposite them. While I didn’t get to that point, I saw the danger of being ridiculously angry and directing it in the wrong places.

The last thing I learned was that my anger, and sadness, and concern could be fuel instead of destruction. I can’t let my life be ruled by fear or controlled by anger. Am I happy with where we are as a country right now? Hell no. But I can’t just sit around all day and complain or cry. And I don’t plan on it. I was sad and scared. Now I’m motivated.

I’m motivated to keep all of the progressive change that we’ve seen in the past few years for my community, and other communities in this country who have been treated like second class citizens in the past. I’m motivated to fight for my rights, my way of life, and my ideals. If that means protesting, I’m all for it. If that means working campaigns in two years to elect new officials, I’m there. No matter what it takes, I will do it.

I’m not happy that Donald Trump is going to be our next President. But I’m not going to be defeated by it. I’m not going to be complacent. I’m going to make the best out of it, and work as hard as I possibly can to make sure America doesn't take another big step backward in the future.