Was All Of This Really Worth It? | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Was All Of This Really Worth It?

Am I actually ready for adulting, or am I just fooling myself?

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Was All Of This Really Worth It?
The Huffington Post

As the semester winds down it's hard to believe it went by so fast, but I get this feeling every year. Time drags on a weekly basis, but once Thanksgiving break hits, I realize how little time is left. In regards to this semester, I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I only have one more left until I graduate. To some extent this is great, but also terrible. I'd love to say I can finally be done with school, but at the same time, I don't want to adult and I'm not mentally prepared for adulting.

If you'd talked to me a year ago I wouldn't be thinking about graduating, rather I'd be all over studying abroad. At this moment in 2015 I was preparing to go to Lithuania--a significant step in both my academic and personal lives. I'd never been out of the country alone before, so flying by myself and having to rely on just me in a foreign place where English was not the people's first language completely shocked me. As I settled into my classes I slowly adjusted after a month or so, and reflecting on it now, I think I did a pretty good job on my own; however, reviewing where I am in life now I need to focus on the fact that I'm graduating next semester (and I'm kind of freaking out about it). I still don't know whether to view graduating in a positive or negative way, but so far it's definitely been a mix of both. To some degree I don't want to have to pay my own bills and rely on just my minimal income to live, but I also want to get rid of all these student loans. I want the benefits of student discounts, but I also want to have a successful career. Do you see my problem? Since I'm almost done with college, this would be a great time to reflect on the past six semesters.

For my first year at Eastern, I wasn't into socializing. I was very attached to my friends back home and always wanted to spend time with them, rather than force myself to open up to new people. This quickly changed; however, as I realized I had to socialize if I wanted to have a social life on campus. Thankfully, a group of girls on my hall were also first years who needed to quickly make friends. Because we didn't know anyone else, we soon bonded, and now that I look back on it, I'm realizing that was definitely a God miracle-thing. To this day those ladies are still some of my closest friends and I couldn't have survived college without them.

In terms of my second semester, I honestly don't remember anything about sophomore year. I was a Teaching Assistant for one of the required Gen-Eds, which was definitely a blessing, and once the semester ended, I had pretty high grades. That year was honestly a blur and I'm not going to go into it, it's too much effort, and I need to save all my brain power for essays and exams.

The first semester of junior year was spent at Eastern and I honestly don't remember anything from that either. The Spring semester was my biggest take-away from college so far. I studied abroad in Lithuania and that honestly changed my perceptions of everything. Being in a country where people continue to grapple with effects of the Soviet Union and continue piecing their lives and family history back together is shocking. I realized how privileged I am and how America wasn't forced to experience that. I came to appreciate what truly matters in life and who truly matters in life. The people who choose to walk away from you aren't worth the hassle. The situations that you struggle thorough are meant to teach you something that will probably make a huge impact on your future self. Overall, spending that brief amount of time in Lithuania taught me to be more accepting and open-minded about the world and other people, forcing me to escape my comfort zone, which I didn't realize I needed until after it happened.

Looking back at everything, I'm not the same person who started at Eastern four years ago. I've been challenged and grown through those challenges. I'm still growing and know I'll continue to mature and change next semester as well--from writing my thesis to (hopefully) finding a job, to graduating. I'd better be ready. So Eastern, thanks for the mixed feelings and unforgettable memories. Cheers to the final semester!

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