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I Wanted To Give Up On My Major But Then I Realized I Would Be Giving Up On My Dream

I have the dream of helping veterans be a little more comfortable in civilian life.

Harley Ann Kearney

Mar 27, 2019

Albany, NY

112

I Wanted To Give Up On My Major But Then I Realized I Would Be Giving Up On My Dream

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It was an early week of college and I got another failing grade. I am taking many credits this semester and I honestly feel like the end will never come. I felt stupid when I am taking psychology classes and I can't even understand the terms or what is happening.

I fell in love with psychology back in my first semester of college in the fall of 2016. I was taking a general psych class and thought that it was the coolest thing learning about the brain and the human mind. Learning about addictions and how people are addicted to certain things. Then I took time off of college but I always loved the major.

I decided to come back this year, last semester was hard. I had a teacher I did not particularly like. It was developmental psychology I loved learning about things such as in my childhood things that happened is the reason I think and do certain things. That honestly was mind explosion for me, my love for psychology just grew 10 times more. I realized that that's what I wanted to study that I wanted to find out why people do the things they do and why their brain works the way that it does. But mainly I wanted to help people and help them understand themselves better.

Then the semester started and I realized I cannot do it anymore. I can not study psychology. If I am reading this term and I can not understand it then what is the point in being a psych major? What is the point of following what I am doing? There is not, I can not do it. But then I sit in class and I have a light bulb go off and it all makes sense.

I have the dreams of getting my Ph.D., I have the dream of being a psychologist. I have the dream of helping veterans be a little more comfortable in civilian life. I have a dream to help every single person I possibly can. But if I give up then what's the point? The late nights, the mental breakdowns they will all be useless.

The dreams vanish and those people will not be helped. The students I want to teach one day will not be smarter their love with psychology will be gone. So why give up? As much as some days I wish that I could go to registrars and sign the form to drop out. I choose to get out of bed, go to class and study just a little harder. I choose to go to the teacher's office hour and I can do it. I can achieve everything I put my mind to. I have my friends and my family to keep reminding me of the end goal and the dreams that I have for myself. I will have my associates, my bachelors, my masters, then my Ph.D. I will be a psychologist, a teacher, a counselor, and a mentor.

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I Wanted To Give Up On My Major But Then I Realized I Would Be Giving Up On My Dream

I have the dream of helping veterans be a little more comfortable in civilian life.

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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