Forgetting isn’t easy. Forgetting who, where, and when the next step you planned. Forgetting what happened in the past is always the hardest.

Forgetting my past always seemed to haunt me. I had a dad who left for no solid reason and an ex boyfriend the mentally abused and cheated on me.

To forget my dad leaving me. I blamed myself to take away most of the pain. I blamed myself to the point of needing more than friends to talk to. I needed to talk to teachers about my problem. I am in college and blaming myself that my mom and sister are home and I am here, capable to have fun when I want. But, who isn’t home with my mom and sister my dad. My dad isn’t because he left he chose his step kids over me. Sorts makes me wonder was I ever really wanted by him?

To forget my cheating and mentally abusive ex boyfriend I stayed home and thought of everything I did wrong. Everything that I thought of was wrong, he dumped me because I had a seizure and was hospitalized for a day. Getting over the mental abuse he put me through like; “not pretty, you play the dumbest instrument, you’ll never achieve what you want, you’re only a girl who can stop me.” Those were the hardest things to get over.

My favorite thing about this all, is my dad has broken my heart before any boy could. He left me for a new family and despite the whole 10 years in between him leaving I am still trying to not blame myself and trying to figure out why he never loved me.

So, forgetting it isn’t bad but it can be for the better. Forgetting toxic things in your life is a way to recreate yourself, build self confidence, and a way for you to realize who you really want to be.