I want to be myself.
The other day I was having a brief conversation with a friend. She began talking about the people in the world who she would want to be, if she could be another person. She started naming off celebrities, athletes, and politicians who obviously have large amounts of wealth, popularity, or power. I never got a chance to continue the conversation with her, but as she was naming off people she would want to be, all I could think was, “Well, who would I want to be?” and no other person came to mind than myself. Sure, it would be nice to be making lots of money, and sure, it would be nice to have some power over other people, but I, an eighteen-year-old college student, have all the resources I need in order to become wealthy or powerful. I have all the resources I need in order to become the person who I want to be, and to accomplish what I want to accomplish.
I am already so lucky to have been born into a family that can afford more than enough food each week, can provide me with a roof over my head, and unconditional love. I personally feel I have positively impacted many lives around me, even in the smallest of ways, and many times probably without realizing it. I can’t help thinking that if I hadn’t been a part of those people’s lives who I have helped, or changed in any way, that the course of their lives could have taken very different, and maybe even negative, paths. I am here, living the life that I live, making the decisions I am making, for a reason.
I might not be completely sure of why exactly I am here, but I think it is important to be confident in the person I am. I often get down on myself because I feel like I’m being selfish if think about myself often. What I’ve realized lately though is that thinking about myself and what I want is not selfish; it is healthy. I firmly believe that if I do not think about my needs before other people’s, then I will not be able to help those other people to the best of my ability, which is something I have learned with life experience. Taking care of myself is the first step in becoming comfortable and happy with the person I am. After that, I can focus on other people. If I am making positive changes to my life, and am conscious of the things that are dragging me down, I can be completely okay with the person I am, even when I do make mistakes. I am learning everyday to love myself for different reasons because although it is difficult to tell myself, I have so many accomplishments to be proud of.
A few things I always try to tell myself when I am starting to feel unconfident or lazy are:
1. I am human and do not need to be perfect
2. I am capable
3. I am loved.
You were born into this body and this life for a reason, and you are capable of very significant things because you have proved that to be true in the past. Life is about growth. It is about becoming comfortable with the person YOU are, and not defining yourself by the standards of others. Everyone is human, after all. Everyone deals with loss, pain, and heartache, no matter what their circumstances are. You are here for reason, and that reason is to be the best version of the person that you can be.
