A few weeks ago, I was involved in a serious car accident.

It was a little after 8 a.m. and I was on the highway headed to a doctor appointment. The morning started out like every other morning. My alarm went off, I hit snooze about five times, crawled out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, threw my hair up in a messy bun, and rushed out the door. It was a cool, crisp summer morning and I remember having my windows down enjoying the smell of the rain from the night before.

Everything was calm and everything seemed still.

I finally reached the highway which is a bit of a drive from my house which is tucked back into the woods a bit. I drive for about ten miles, take an exit onto a different highway, and then hit rush hour traffic. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Monday morning on the highways of St. Louis.

I merged to get into the exit lane for a different highway, and the traffic slowed to about 30 MPH. I had left my house about fifteen minutes early, so I was not stressed out and was just enjoying my music and waiting out the traffic. Then, everything changed.

I looked in my rear view mirror to see how far back the traffic was behind me, but all I saw was a gray SUV. This SUV was coming so fast. "This SUV is going to hit me, it is going to hit me hard," I remember thinking. I had half of a second and was locked in by cars, there was nothing I could do. My body locked.

I was so scared. Then, the impact.

I remember suddenly seeing the back seat of my car in my rear view mirror. Not just the head rests that you can always see, I remember seeing the actual seats. I also remember seeing the hood of my car folded almost in half.

I had been pushed into the car in front of me. I was in shock. I closed my eyes and then opened them, hoping for a second that it wasn't real. Then, I moved my fingers and toes and realized I was lucky. I was OK. Almost immediately after I caught my breath, I heard the sirens. A police officer approached my car and asked if I was OK.

I told him I was very shaken up, but alright. I stepped out of my car and looked at the damage. Destroyed. My new car was just destroyed. It was hard to look at and know I was just in that car that was now missing pieces along the side of the highway.

Fast forward to the next morning. I woke up very sore, as expected of anyone after they get in a major accident. I got the call that my car was totaled, no surprise there. Now it was time to start making doctor appointments and starting the road to recovery. The day of the accident, my adrenaline was through the roof. The rest of that day is honestly kind of a blur.

Like I said, I was in a state of shock.

Days passed, doctors appointments passed, and I seemed to be getting better quickly.

I was lucky. But then the part I did not see coming kicked in — the anxiety.

I started having panic attacks. I would be on the road and just freeze and start crying. I constantly was worried someone was going to hit me at all times. It even got to the point where I thought every time I got into the car, I was going to die. Living like that is miserable.

When I was in the car, I was suffering from panic attacks.

When I wasn't in the car, I was stressed out about the next time I would have to drive.

It controlled my life.

The accident was about two and a half weeks ago, and the anxiety is still very relevant. A doctor hinted that it sounded like I was suffering from PTSD and prescribed me anti-anxiety medicine. I'm having a lot of issues with my back and neck, but I am on the upswing. Things are looking up.

However, just because someone isn't hospitalized or visually injured after an accident, does not mean they are OK. I would take intense physical pain over this agonizing, crippling anxiety any day. But this is the hand of cards I was dealt, so I am going to play it. And if you are one of the millions of people affected by this post-accident mental struggle, you are not alone.