I was in the middle of a continuing series of articles (which I will be following up on next week), but a national tragedy happened last week that I can not ignore. I have talked about this issue in the past, so it only seems right for me to put my two cents in. This event has left me shaken and doubting my fellow man. There's no easy way to say this, so here I go:

Patrick Stewart has been cast as the talking piece of shit in the emoji movie.

No one is sure how this has happened or what state of mind Sir Patrick is currently in. All we know is that instead of some challenging Shakespearean role, Patrick Stewart has elected to play a talking piece of shit in a movie about the secret lives of emojis. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family at the moment. I hope that this movie buys them a sizable beach house. In solidarity, I will be watching Star Trek: The Next Generation all week. To show support, people may wear a Star Fleet pin.