There are those that do not, but some like it hot. You know that one friend who is always down for the hot wing challenge at B-Dubs? Or the one that just can't get enough Sriracha? We all have that one friend; hell, sometimes, we are that friend. Here are some feels with which those who can't resist an extra zing to their food will totally identify.
Disclaimer: This article is meant to be humorous and neither condones nor promotes cultural appropriation. Rather, it promotes cultural exchange. If you are trying an "ethnic" food, be sure to give the people of that culture credit for being awesome people, too, and educate yo'selves on those cultures.
1. You always being down for Indian/Thai/Arabic/[insert typically spicy food here] made you a foreign parent's dream growing up.
As if your friend didn’t love you enough for being the best guest to have on play dates in the third grade, so did his/her kitchen-savvy parent(s). After long hours of endless giggles, freeze tag, or video games if it was cold out, their parents always beamed with ecstasy when they also discovered you weren’t afraid to try a traditional concoction with a zing that would scare your other PB&J-status picky eater friends away. At least three times you were totally complimented for being adventurous with food. Claps to you.
2. That being said, your non-spice-loving friends now are always apprehensive when you suggest one of the restaurants from #1.
You try and try to explain that dishes such as palak paneer or green curry are actually sometimes better with a mild spice level. However, even if they’ve never tried it, the cultural association with being unbearably spicy is enough to shy them away and suggest some shitty “Mexican” restaurant where they can chips-and-gooey-fake-white-queso to their heart’s content. (Judgment free zone, but, like, come on, that goo is more fake than Kylie Jenner’s lips).
3. Going forward with the restaurant thing, you always shock the waiters/waitresses when you ask for the spiciest level they offer.
Especially if you seemingly do not hail from the region the food originates, when they say, “mild, medium, hot, Indian hot,” and you calmly ask for “Indian hot” they often immediately question your conscience. To you, if it's not searing your mouth hotter than the 9th circle of hell, it ain't spicy enough. But hey, judgment aside, at least you never have to worry that your friends will try to snag a bite of your food!
4. Gum is your personal kryptonite.
Why, yes, your purse or pocket is always filled with a pack of Orbit Peppermint or a tin of Altoids. Spicy, generally, is associated with major flavor, so, you always have to be prepared! After burn is never fun, so the mint helps to kill the zing…and your wallet, as you parade through a pack a day like a chain smoker. Better mint than nicotine, right?
5. You get to taste the best flavors.
Spicy food is hella flavorful! It enhances the mosaic of different tastes in each bite so it’s literally like noshing on a kaleidoscope. It also brings out some richer colors in the food so your foodstagrams are always on point. What’s better is that you know each type of spicy is quite different from the other, so you are great at describing exact flavors and notes to newcomers. Also, everyone knows leftovers are amazing, and I dare you to try and tell me something that tastes better than muurg naram garam or pad Thai the second day.
6. You also have a penchant for seasonings.
From Sriracha to red hot pepper flakes, you are sure to bedazzle your food with a squeeze or a shake, whether it’s a piece of fruit or a slice of pizza. You always have to ask for extra wasabi at sushi restaurants, and you’ve likely mistaken it for guacamole on purpose because you can’t get enough sinus clearing. You are also everyone’s go-to when it comes to advice for the best brand of hot sauce because you’ve likely tasted all of ‘em.
7. You’ve learned the hard way about washing your hands twice after handling habañeros.
GIF courtesy of Google Images.
They taste great as a garnish in a spicy margarita, or tossed along in a grilled pepper medley to fill a taco, but the first and most important commandment of spicy food is “Thou shalt wash hands.” Yeah, pathogen spreading isn’t so great, but try watching Marley and Me without rubbing your eyes.
8. You proudly reap the benefits (and constantly remind other people of them) that come from eating food that packs a punch.
GIF courtesy of Google Images.
Lowered risk for chronic heart disease? Check. Ditto with obesity? Check. Colon and sinuses cleared? Double check. Even though your mouth is burning on the inside, you’re beaming on the outside with these added bonuses to eating delicious food.
9. No matter what, you always spice up any friend group.
Bland is boring. Spicy food lovers are adventurous, fun, and sure to bring a good laugh every time they come out. It can be both a blessing and a curse (as often, they automatically assume you’re down for anything, even if it means having to sign a waiver before trying it) but at least there’s never a dull moment with you around!
