Waking Up From Your "Beauty Sleep" Is Just As It Sounds: A Load Of B.S. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Waking Up From Your "Beauty Sleep" Is Just As It Sounds: A Load Of B.S.

Darn it. I did not mean to wake up like this.

172
Waking Up From Your "Beauty Sleep" Is Just As It Sounds: A Load Of B.S.
Jerrin Concepcion

The proper acronym for beauty sleep is B.S. because that's what it is.

Beauty sleep.

Too many of you might agree with me that whoever came up with that phrase was equally as devastated about their first glance at themselves in the mirror at the first flick-a-da-lightswitch of today as we were.

Unless, of course, you're a Snapchat junkie that takes selfies first thing after your alarm sounds, before actually brushing your teeth (you nasty).

Let me guess your alarm tone: was it Beyonce's "Flawless?"

In that case, I bet this morning you opened your cellphone's front cam, and then at the sound-a-da-shutter, you forgot that your flash was on. Your immediate thought:

Darn it. I did not mean to wake up like dis.

I feel sorry for you, but I also feel sorry for me because I'm no less of a nightmarish monster than you are, post rooster holla.

Confession — I took a selfie-Snap first thing in the morning once. Except, it was in that category of selfie-Snaps you send to your best friend at 7:00 a.m. to let her know you made it to your own room after a night of boogying to EDM (which you only enjoyed because of that whiskey sour). This is the kind of selfie-Snap you take without caring about whether or not you look like Shrek — ya know, the green, slimy, fairytale swamp resident with the double chin and whatnot.

Green in the face. Slimy foundation. Double chin. Yeah, that double chin you only get when you send a hungover selfie-Snap. It's that same double chin you hate, but at the same time, you can't hate it because it's practically smiling right back at you from one corner of your jaw to the other.

Back to the point. Either way, don't deny that you gave that giant reflective glass the finger this morning for mocking your beast-esque face.

Beauty sleep: A bulldozer load of bull. The phrase we use because those words compensate for the brutal and scary reality that follow the action.

"Time for my beauty sleep."

"I'm up from my beauty sleep."

Sisters, throw some snaps in the air for every line you're about to agree with as I recite this IRL (which means "in real life," for those of you non-hip folk who will never send a selfie-Snap in your lifetime) ballad of looking at yourself in the mirror on Monday mornings — scratch that, I meant every morning.

You will, and you better agree with every. One. Of. These. Lines.

That stray hair poking out from in between your eyebrows — Prettier than a lone dandelion peeping between blades of green grass.

That crooked hairline of yours replicating the jagged line on a stock market graph — Truth is, Kim Kardashian will always be more basic, and boring than you rarely get because of her straight-edge waxed hairline. (Sheesh, and she claims her latest makeup looks are natural.)

That dimple weirdly dented into your cheek two inches higher than where everyone else's cute dimples are located — You're the Marilyn of your generation.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

180426
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

7438
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

452617
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

23352
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments