So I graduated high school last year and now I'm a sophomore in college. I'm also a Biology major which means i'm going to be in school for another seven years. Meaning more debt from student loans and nights in the library while having less time for a social or personal life. These days I have iced coffee in my hand while reading a study guide while my phone would be on my desk and vibrating every ten minutes. It would either be a text, a call, or a notification on Facebook that one of my friends from high school is either engaged or pregnant. Now I know I'm not the only one who has gotten asked the question, "So when are you getting married ?" or your other friends are asking "Where's my ring?" Meanwhile, I'm just over here like "I'm in no rush, I'm just take my time."
So many of my friends that graduated with me or before me are engaged, married, pregnant, and even divorced. I'm spending half my summer paycheck on presents for the baby showers and bridesmaid dresses that I can never wear again. I'm happy for them but you get tired of sitting at the singles table at weddings, you know.
I'm about to hit my 20's, I'm the oldest kid on both sides of my family, and no guy I've dated hasn't made it to date number three because I am that picky. I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to settle. I'm not saying that I judge people's life choices. I'm not saying I don't want to get married and have the 2.5 kids. I'm not saying I'm just "being practical". I'm just not in any rush that's all and here's why.
First off, I'm not capable of taking care of a another human being right now. Whether it be a husband, child, or even a dog. It's a miracle I'm able to actually adult while trying to survive college everyday. I'm in student loan debt and still saving to restore my used car. I can barely find time for naps and putting in time to cook, clean, and take care of a family will be impossible for me to balance.
Second of all, I'm selfish. That sounds crappy but it's the truth. There's so much I want to do with my life. I want to finish college and go to grad school. To go off and travel cross-country or back-pack across Europe. I want to do the things on my bucket list before I even considered settling down. I want to enjoy the single life that I have now. My friends would tell me all the time to "take advantage of the time I got". They miss the time they had before "I" became a "we".
Third, I really don't have the time. I'm taking 15 hours of classes this semester and work 20+ hours a week. My summers are filled with extra summer courses and summer jobs to earn money for my apartment fund for next year. I'm going to medical school after I graduate and three years of residency after that. Trying to plan a wedding in the middle of studying for the MCAT does not sound fun.
And lastly, I'm just not ready. I can barely balance everything I have on my plate right now. I'm still trying to figure out my life and soul-searching daily. I need to take care of myself before I can take care of somebody else.
So yeah, Just because I'm gonna wait to settle down doesn't mean i don't want it. I can't wait to have a family but for now, I'm fine being the maid of honor and godmother. And when it's my turn, then I'll be ready.
