Worth the wait?

Almost every night as I lay in bed getting ready to sleep, I say a prayer for my future spouse. But then for a moment I will look to the side of my bed and say to myself, ‘why am I still single?' As I read GROUPME’s of my friends telling stories of how they are getting laid, I begin to wonder if she is worth the wait. And as I lay in bed just before I drift into a trance, I will ask ‘is she worth the wait? Is she all I have dreamed off’? but before I realize, it is a whole new day.

Ever since I became a Christian, I have battled all kinds of tribulation from fighting lust to crushing my pride. My old ways are no longer a part of me. The world as I had known has completely changed before my eyes and before I could say a word, my perspective on lots of subject has changed. I began to see woman as my sisters, I befriended people from all walks of life. I become more genuine and I become me.

As I read the bible almost every day, hoping to get a confirmation from my heavenly father if today is the day I get to meet her, I am left with an unanswered prayer. My doubt begins to rage on as I proceed during the day, I wonder if my God is indeed good. I start to question God not because I want to question him but because I need answers to the questions and those answers leave me with more questions. Who is she? Is she a Christian? Is she kind and compassionate? Is she stuck in a hole with no one to help her? And on and on my questions never stops coming.

Moreover, as the day calms down and things start to slow down, ‘she’ pops into my mind and this time, my questions are gone. This still small voice in the back of my head tells be that “she is worth the wait.” My doubts becomes stronger than ever and my emotions begins to contemplate what my heart desires. But then again I find myself in my bed saying a prayer for her, praying that her life is just as amazing maybe even more amazing than my life. I will ask ‘is she worth the wait? And is she all I have dreamed off’? And this still voice will tell me again, “she is worth the wait”. I drift into a trance and I wake up to a whole new day.

This is what I am trying to say folks. I honestly do not think I am in the right mindset to date yet that is all I want to do. All I can do now is to serve and be the person “I am looking for is looking for” said one Ben Weber. I am going to disciple and be discipled. I will organize bible studies and play soccer like never before. Because at the end of the day when I finally get to meet her, I will know that she was worth the wait. I will know that Jesus is worth the wait.