In our day and age I believe it’s an enormous understatement to say that dating is hard.
As an avid reader and near hopeless romantic that I am, I had several of my own breathtaking highs and heart wrenching lows. I dreamed about relationships with stars in my eyes and pictured them going with the guidelines of my favorite romance novels. I longed for someone to love me with the mountain moving, earth shaking love that always made my heart sigh with the turning of every page. For a long time I believed that I was the only one living in my world of beautiful love stories and brilliant fantasies. When I turned 16 I earned the right to date from my parents and I was all too excited to experience what all my friends had always gloated and giggled about. To my chagrin, I couldn’t seem to overcome my shyness and low self-esteem to even begin talking to people I might be interested in. After all, the women in my novels were nearly always great beauties, something I didn’t truly believe I was or would ever be. How could I ever find a Prince Charming if I was, in my mind, no Cinderella? At the time, I never realized the kind of mess my way of thinking could really get me in. Any boy who looked at me as more than a friend, whether I liked them or not, not only caught my eye but they became the platform upon which I would construct my Prince. I know, I know, my thinking was seriously flawed! Yet, at the time, it seemed like a perfectly plausible way to do things. Kind of crazy, right?
When I look back, the heartbreak that I brought on myself really isn’t all that surprising. It’s really amazing what a little age and a lot of time to think can do for your frame of mind. During my final year of high school, after yet another epic failure of a relationship, I decided maybe I should just let it go. I stopped looking for love in other people, and figured it would probably benefit both me and others if I worked on myself first. It was during this “alone time” that I chose to focus on myself, who I was, who I wanted to be, and where I was going in life. I was a senior after all, and college was coming a lot faster than I cared to admit. I finally made my decision and began working on scholarships and preparing myself for the move to Livingston, preparing for a new life. I only had a few months of senior year left, but my goodness were they packed! We had senior meetings, cap and gown orders, portraits, and the second biggest event next to graduation; Senior Prom. Little did I know my world was about to be rocked by something as small as a fortune cookie.
As “Promposals” showed up all over social media and girls giggled amongst themselves about dresses and dates, I stood by with my heart full of longing, yet something deep down told me to be patient and wait. This new approach to dating, the “patiently” waiting part, actually paid off enormously! I can’t speak for everyone, but I feel like I’m not alone in the fact that there was always this one guy that I had a huge crush on through most of high school. He was one of those that I had long deemed way out of my league, so I just admired him from a distance. I’m of course extremely biased when I say this, but in my eyes he was as good as they got! Tall, dark, and handsome, not only was he those things but man was he brilliant! This was the beautiful boy that shyly handed me a fortune cookie one day during break with a slip of paper inside that read, “Prom?”. Man, did that one little act rock my world! From then on we were nearly inseparable, from our first date at one of our local Mexican restaurants I was totally in love, and I was more than thrilled to find out that he felt the same.
Now, I’ve drug you through my little romance struggle so that I could get one point across to you guys. In no way am I going to tell you to stop chasing that love story ideal that seems like such a far off dream, I’m just going to make a suggestion on the story that you model your heart’s deepest desires after. The one book that made such a difference in me, and paved the way for the man I now have in my life to make his entrance, was a beautiful brown one bound in leather that had laid long forgotten on my nightstand. If you didn’t catch which one I was talking about by way of context clues, well, the book I’m referring to is the Holy Bible. Now, don’t go running or get miffed just yet, I’m not going to preach a sermon, I promise. Whether you are a Believer or not, this best-selling piece can still be life altering! When I chose to crack it open after so long is when my life really made a turn for the best. My idea of true love was removed from the world of Nicholas Spark’s The Notebook to the devotion and love I found between Jacob and Rachael. Genesis 29 is where their story pans out. For those who don’t know about them, here’s a brief overview: Jacob loved and adored Rachael, who was daughter to a man named Laban, so much that he became a servant to his father for many years to earn her hand in marriage. When he had ended his years of servitude, Laban came to him with the hand of Leah, Rachael’s older sister instead saying that the first born must be wed before his younger daughter. To earn Rachael he would have to do yet another stent of servitude for Laban. That seems like a lot to ask, right? Yet, instead of simply taking Leah and saying “forget it” to giving any more time in service, Jacob was determined to have the hand of the woman he truly loved.
That can seem a little extreme in the realm of modern thinking, I know, but the beauty of the story is that Jacob did everything that he had promised and so much more for the one who held his heart. This is the lesson that I really wanted to teach, and it’s one that can be applied in both the male and female direction. Real love is still made up of all those beautiful romantic things you read in your novels, but never forget that it’s also a lot of work! Determination to hold the heart and hand of the one you love, no matter what the obstacle, can keep you happy and together through nearly anything. It takes work, but I can promise you that the wait and the work is totally worth it in the end.
