Okay, I’ll admit it. I like to be in control. I’m almost positive that I have OCD, and if I’m going to do something then I want it to be done right. Especially when it comes to my own life and my choices. I am also not very patient. If I see something that I want or suddenly set a goal for myself, I want the results immediately.
My sister made fun of me this summer when we decided to start working out. I went into it thinking I could pick up where I left off in high school. We started with an arm day, and by golly I was going to have toned arms by next week… Or so I thought. She laughed and tried to tell me not to do so many reps and to take it easy, but I pushed it as hard as I could that first day in the gym anyway. So much so that I couldn’t move my arms in any direction for the next three days because I was so sore.
With that being said, I am the type of person that likes to know what is going to happen next, and I want to work hard toward it. But what do you do when your future seems uncertain? I continuously fight with myself as I try to be in control of my future, and I don’t even know what I’m working towards. I have tried to force things to happen that I felt God told me I didn’t need, but I thought it fit well into my schedule so that’s what I pursued. Dear friend, let me tell you, that is the worst thing to do.
I fought the feeling of loneliness for a long time. I felt like God had left me abandoned in the middle of the forest with a million different paths calling my name.
I have learned that choosing a certain path, just hoping that it is the correct one leads to trouble. Many times I have started down a path just to find that there was a dead end. I knew all along that it didn’t look like the direction I needed to go, but I journeyed along anyway because I didn’t want to wait for God’s directions.
Waiting for direction in life can seem like an eternity. I came to a point where I realized trying to create something that was out of God’s will for my life always lead to heartache. Then that lead to more searching.
One morning this past week I found myself desperately seeking God for direction. I talked with God about how I didn’t know what to do next and how I didn’t know what he wanted from me. I told God that I was tired from putting all of my energy into trying to figure out myself what I needed to do when it would repeatedly turn into failure. In that moment of panic and uncertainty, I remembered a sermon that was preached at a revival I attended earlier this summer. The sermon was about what to do while waiting on God. I thought it was an excellent sermon the night I heard it, but suddenly it had more meaning that even that night.
The speaker talked about how the word wait has a different meaning than what you and I typically think of. She compared the word waiting to a waiter or waitress at a restaurant. A waitress will usually come to your table and take your order. Then she will go to the source (the kitchen) and bring back exactly what you asked for. The waitress doesn’t worry or get fearful or panicky when she is asked by the customers to get something. She knows without a doubt that every ingredient that is needed for the meal the customer wants is at the source. She has complete trust that meal will turn out correct because the source has everything that is needed. She also serves the customer. Just as we should serve one another.
God is our source. He has every ingredient we will ever need. He knows the solution to every problem, and He has a special purpose for you. And as I was seeking God last Thursday morning before work, I felt like He reminded me to wait.
He reminded me of all of the things that I am doing for Him at this moment, and He told me to focus on those things. I believe He told me instead of worrying about what is to come, He told me to spend my time writing articles that glorify Him. He told me to focus on teaching my Sunday school class. He told me to prepare and pray for our prayer meetings. He told me to work on my worship songs. He told me to love his people and serve them.
He has so many things for me to do. While I am waiting on Him to show me the next step to take in life, I will wait. Like a waitress, I will go to the source with faith because I know He has everything I need. I will wait and love on people. I will do whatever I can to spread God’s word and love while I wait on Him, and I want to encourage you to do the same.
If you don’t know which path to take, just stand still where you are. Don’t put the pressure on yourself to figure out which way to go. Give God control, and just stand still. Figure out what you can do to glorify God and His kingdom, and put all of your effort into that.
