"Be a man." "Grow a pair. "Toughen up." As a spiritual cowboy-hipster hybrid, I've had my share of exposure to language such as this, especially in junior high and high school. Like the stereotype against pretty, young white girls who wear Uggs and LOVE Starbucks, men are given a stigma themselves: Rough, emotionless statues of brawn made of cold, heavy stone all the way through. Why not, right? Men have only been this way since the beginning of historically recorded time. But why?
Society has chosen to criticize and downtrodden any man who refuses to suppress his emotions, because how can a man go to work building skyscrapers, mixing cement and raising cattle if he cries about a movie he loves or complains about how lonely he's been? You can't be strong, courageous and defensive if you are vulnerable at all. In my opinion, it takes more courage to be vulnerable and soft sometimes. Without the ability to feel, hope, weep and smile, we are nothing but the boulders of stone we're supposed to be.
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Vulnerability is not just an Achilles heel or a soft part of someone's soul; it is more so a gateway to being able to live, love, parent, learn and lead. Much like resistance, vulnerability drives one to improve themselves or the situations they face in everyday life; they can drive us to improve our way of living by learning, and in the same respect, to teach others what we have learned. Having weaknesses and fears in secret only helps us try techniques we know how to use to relieve the issue. Life causes an abundance of challenges and obstacles for us to overcome, but if you show vulnerability and weakness to those you trust around you, you can find so many different ways to solve problems and develop new strengths. It's like weightlifting: going to the gym and lifting is fine if you're alone, but you can't push yourself too hard because no one is there to spot you. On the contrary, if you go with a partner, you can both reap the rewards of hard work together, while protecting each other from harm.
Putting ourselves out there invites a far greater risk of being criticized or feeling hurt, but when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. Men, in general, seek self-importance and fulfillment in the eyes of others, and to do so, it is believed you can't be shown as weak, not even once, if you one day plan to stand proud on a throne of triumph. But there is such fulfillment and joy in standing on that throne knowing you aren't made of some faux stone. Being vulnerable and sad in only your eyes is not only a form of sheltering that can prove unhealthy, but can actually lead to a poor state of mind.
In societies mind, a true man doesn't reveal his emotions or compromise his masculinity over what he feels, but I think a true man has the bravery and courage to be vulnerable and emotional in healthy ways, because at least then will a man have the strength to surpass his fellow man in the race to the throne.
