Volunteering With The Elderly Taught Me That Neglecting Those Who Care About You Is Unacceptable | The Odyssey Online
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Volunteering With The Elderly Taught Me That Neglecting Those Who Care About You Is Unacceptable

Never would I have thought that people I share nothing in common with could have such a major impact on me.

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Volunteering With The Elderly Taught Me That Neglecting Those Who Care About You Is Unacceptable
Unsplash / Christian Langballe

I volunteer at my local senior center on a regular basis, and it’s an activity that I love to engage in. When I first started volunteering there, I wasn’t so keen on the idea of spending time with individuals infinitely older than me whom I shared virtually nothing in common with, and parental pressure was one of the major contributing factors as to why I started volunteering there. However, as I started to spend more of my time with the seniors, I began to enjoy their company and realized what I’d been missing out on the entire time.

One-on-one time is hard to come by with the elderly citizens, so I usually try to help out in fun activities or games with them. Actually, no, that’s a lie — I try to avoid one-on-one conversations with them at all costs because I simply have no idea what conversation to spark with any of them.

Earlier this week, I was helping out with a game of bingo. As usual, they consistently shouted at me to call out the numbers louder, and I continuously failed to pay heed to their directions. After the game was over, however, instead of solely saying my goodbyes to the group and proceeding to leave, I decided to stay back for a while, as my ride still hadn’t arrived. Turns out, that would yield to be one of the most significant decisions I’ve ever made.

One of the women in the group shakily hobbled up to me and proceeded to ask whether I’d care to assist her back to her apartment, and I obliged to do so. Nonetheless, what events followed were what I never would’ve predicted happening in a million years.

I proceeded to take her to her room as I’d promised and took a glance around it while I was there. It was comparatively smaller than I imagined it would be and simply consisted of a narrow hallway leading to a rather-cramped room and a bathroom. All that was in it was a surprisingly-neat bed, a bookshelf, some plants, a TV and a few tables.

As soon as I got in, I made sure she was safely secured in her room and swiftly made my way to leave, but she promptly stopped me.

“I can’t find my pajamas, can you help me?” she asked.

Of course, I couldn’t exactly say "no," so I tried to help her as best as I could.

After about 10 minutes of looking, I was just about ready to give up and make up an excuse for why I had to leave, but she stopped me once again. Keep in mind, this woman was a dementia patient, so she forgot her life’s events easily and randomly recalled moments from the past.

This was definitely one of those times. For the next 15 minutes, the woman told me about her life prior to coming to the senior center. From what I could gather, she used to live in Illinois, where she stayed with her daughter and her husband. After that, they moved to Georgia for her son-in-law’s new job. Both her daughter and her husband then “dumped” her in the senior center and promptly left her there.

Something about that story really got me thinking. Now, I don’t know for sure whether or not she was able to correctly recount all the details of her past, but if her retelling was accurate, then I genuinely hope that something like that never happens to me.

That woman had no idea whatsoever about what was going on outside of that miniscule senior center. She didn’t know how to turn on the TV, didn’t have any friends and couldn’t even remember where she kept her pajamas from that morning.If she were to walk outside at that moment, straight out into the real world without any guidance, she would have no chance of survival.

I used to think that placing my parents in a senior center in their elderly age was completely acceptable, but now, I’m not so sure. I may never know if the woman was ever telling the truth or if it was just the dementia and her hazy memory talking, but from what I understood about the situation, the only emotion she felt at the time was neglect.

The fact that her own daughter, who she probably cared for more than her own life while raising her, simply discarded her is a thought that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Although children may settle their elderly parents in a state-of-the-art facility, the numerous “fun” activities that are meant to be put in place to distract the seniors from their inevitable death simply do not fill the void in their hearts that can only be filled by the love of their children.

That said, her daughter probably had good reason to put her mother a senior center as it might have been strenuous to take care of what is basically another child, supplying her mother with her every need.

But this simply cannot serve as a plausible excuse for her state of affairs. Regardless of her situation, the fact remains that a destitute woman lies confined in that facility to this day, and there is nothing she can do to change her solitude.

So, to her daughter who resides in who-knows-where: come visit your mother once in a while, for that woman loves you far beyond what you can imagine. From the moment you were born until now, she's regarded you as the most crucial part of her life, something that she was never willing to let go of.

But you let go instead.

When the time comes for her to pass away, ensure that she leaves with what she unconditionally provided you with — love.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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