Meditate*: verb (used without object), meditated, meditating.
1. to engage in thought or contemplation; reflect.
2. to engage in transcendental meditation, devout religious contemplation, or quiescent spiritual introspection.
Volunteer*: noun
1. apersonwhovoluntarilyoffershimselforherselfforaserviceor undertaking.
2. apersonwhoperformsaservicewillinglyandwithoutpay.
*Reference: Dictionary.com
Something I have been aware of ever since I can remember is my excessive worrying. I overthink everything and anything. This can be a good trait as it can allow me to be more detail-oriented. On the other hand, I have also worried myself to the point that I just curl up in bed and cry. Add that to the inability to properly express my emotions and you get some pretty rough teenage years (Bless my very patient and loving mother).
In addition to my creative outlet, this year I found volunteering as a great way to take a step back from my busy life. For me, my anxiety is mostly about me worrying about me. I get stuck in my box of negative thoughts. Volunteering allows me to break through that box and say, "No, there is a world much bigger than just you."
My sorority requires each member to complete 10 service hours each semester. Honestly, for the past two years, it has felt like I was just going through the motions. Then, two (amazing) friends convinced me to go to the local church and help at their soup kitchen once a week. Before each dinner, the staff and volunteers say a prayer. Their goal is to not only feed the stomach, but to feed the soul as well. This resonates deeply with me and I truly think they fulfill that goal every time. The religious part is minimal but the real fulfillment comes from interacting with new people. People who have had different experiences than you, yet still managed to cross paths with you. And despite whatever happened to either of you that morning/afternoon, here you both are. Smiling :) Eating. Conversing about the latest sports games. It feels natural, it feels good.
Then, there's the church staff. They are some of the most welcoming and sweetest people I have ever met. I was so lost when I first started, but everyone was more than willing to show me where I could find extra spoons and how to use the industrial dishwasher (which makes doing the dishes 100x more thrilling). The students leaders are always blasting music, singing, and dancing. I love coming back to the positive atmosphere week after week!
I missed the soup kitchen during a particularly stressful week and I definitely noticed a difference within myself, as odd as it sounds. I rely on the soup kitchen to provide a temporary escape from my inner chaos and just focus on others. It forces me to unconsciously reflect on life--look at the bigger picture rather than obsessing over small details. That's why I have created a new word, "voluntate," a combination of both words defined above.
Voluntate: verb
1. The unconscious reflection of life provided by helping others; provides a grand feeling of humbleness
