Why I'm Going To Have Pre-Marital Sex | The Odyssey Online
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Why I'm Going To Have Pre-Marital Sex

It isn't as big of a deal as our past generations make it out to be.

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Why I'm Going To Have Pre-Marital Sex
Nashalee Garcia

I'm still a virgin. Anytime I say this to anyone they are left completely in awe. The next questions are: Why are you still a virgin? Are you waiting until you're married? How did you keep yourself from temptations?

So, why am I still a virgin? When I was in high school I vowed to have sex only when I got married, and not because of religious reasons. It was a choice that I made for myself. At the time I believed that it should be with the person that I loved. Though as the years went on into my 20s I became more interested in other things, like exploring different aspects of what I personally wanted for myself.

Now, at 23 years old I don't want to wait until I'm married; at this point I don't see myself ever getting married. I don't think not getting married and having premarital sex is asbbig of deal as society makes it to be. That being said I've kept myself having a fun sex-free life because I don't think I like the whole idea of having sex with a complete stranger. No, I have to at least know the guy and be comfortable enough around him to have sex with him.

Now I'm sure you're thinking: So you're not going to lose your virginity to someone you love? No, I'm not. Why? Because I'm not emotionally attached to my virginity. That and I'd rather just have casual sex with a friend than a boyfriend that I might never grow old with. Also, I'm giving myself the opportunity to know my sexual wants rather than doing it with one person the rest of my life and always wondering the what ifs?

So how did I kept myself from the temptations? I'm going to be honest, I have a slight fear of getting pregnant. Yes, this is coming from the girl that wants have premarital and casual sex. I know the irony.

That's what keeps me up at night sometimes. Most of the people that I know are already parents. So I knew that I wasn't going to end up like them because it's not what I want, at least not in my 20s anyway. I love kids and I know that I'll be a great mom one day, but after all the things I went through growing up, I don't want to bring a child into this Earth until I am able to give them a life they deserve.

I have been surrounded with temptations for so long and sometimes I want to give in because I'm in the moment and it feels great. But I am a person that's extremely stubborn, once I know that I just don't want to have sex I stick with it. I am a huge fan of saying no and I'm not afraid to say that I'm a virgin. To me it's nothing to be ashamed of. Same goes for those that aren't.

Though that mindset changed a bit when I experimented with my sexuality.

I went through a nice curious phase when I was 21-23 years old. Within those years I learned that I won't label my sexuality; I know what I'm attracted too and what I'm not. I'm in the middle of a spectrum but I won't classify myself as either or because to me it doesn't exist.

I'm happy to know myself more in a very sexual spiritual way that I didn't think I would experience or find in myself. I can say that I'm liberated to be myself in the most authentic way.

I'm still fearful of getting pregnant but I'm not going to let that stop me from having sex. There's still so much I need to learn and experience that I'm willing to take the journey to fully understand myself.

As I stated earlier, being a virgin is nothing to ever be ashamed of despite what some believe. We have choices in this world that each of us have a right to make. If you choose to wait until marriage, wear your head up high. If you choose not to wait until marriage, you too wear your head up high. Let's not care why someone chooses not to have sex, it's their choice, so don't call them a prude. Let's not care why someone wants to have premarital sex, it's their choice so let's not slut shame them.

I'm choosing to continue on in my sexual endeavors as I see fit because it's a choice that I've made. Which means losing my virginity before getting married.

Our choice to have sex or not shouldn't be what defines us. What should define us is the impact that we make in this world.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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