This season on ABC's hit show 'The Bachelorette,' there have been many twists and turns. From self-obsessed models to broken noses and scandals, this season has been jam-packed with drama. However, one of the contestants, Colton Underwood, has caught a particular amount of speculation and criticism. Aside from the drama he caused in his relationship with Becca, the week before she was to travel to his hometown and meet his family, he revealed that he was still a virgin. The revelation of this piece of information sent the show's fandom (bachelor nation) into a tailspin.
On all of 'The Bachelor' spinoffs, it always seems to cause an uproar when it is brought to the surface that one of the contestants have yet to lose their virginity. However, every time this is brought up, there is always a negative connotation behind it. It is seemingly unfathomable that a person could be interested in either waiting for marriage, or for the right person, and often times said person receives a considerable amount of backlash for this decision. Rather than respecting that person's decision to save their virginity for whatever reason, the prevalent sexuality of our culture comes into play and shames them for making a decision that ultimately does not affect anyone other than the person in question and their significant other.
On the show, Colton admits to having lied about being a virgin in a few different situations in the past, because he was afraid of the way others would react to it. He states that he felt pressure to succumb to the cultural norm and to act like someone he was not in order to avoid retaliation.
The fact of the matter is that whether you are choosing to wait until marriage, for the right person, or you aren't waiting at all, that's your choice. There is no need for people to put pressure on others to have sex for the first time. It isn't something that should be rushed into, and it's definitely not something that we should do just because someone else says we should. Your virginity is just that: yours. It's no one else's to give away, so why do others think that have a say in when people should and shouldn't have sex for the first time?
Just like you wouldn't want someone to slut shame you for making the decision to have sex with someone, those of us who are virgins also don't want to be shamed for not doing so.
Personally, I am waiting until marriage due to the belief that love was made for more, and is important enough to wait for. However, I respect people's personal decisions and expect the same respect in return. I would NEVER shame another person for making a choice different than my own, it's just common courtesy.
Overall, make the decisions that make you happy, and grant others the same courtesy. Life is WAY too short to get caught up in someone else's sex life after all.
