Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t

Depends on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes

It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

Sometimes I wish it was acceptable to walk outside the house without combing my hair or putting on makeup. Society has made it a point of telling women what is okay and what is not, and I hate it. Sometimes I want to do “whatever feels good in my soul.” India Arie says is best in her song ‘Video.’ She makes me feel like it is ok to embrace myself as a queen no matter my size, acne scars or my physical appearance, and I love her for that.

I feel as though the majority of the world does not wear a size 2. So why am I constantly encouraged to look like a “supermodel?” In fact, the average dress size for women in the United States is 12-14. So why in the world does society make me feel like a leper because I don’t wear a size below a 10? It is outrageous and in my opinion unacceptable even though I can do nothing about it other than try to ignore what they say and embrace my curves the looks that God gave me. “My creator didn’t make no mistakes on me.”

Curves are very much so looked down upon these days. And I am talking about different curves that the entertainment world has deemed as trending. I am not talking about having a big derriere and wide hips with a “coke bottle” physique. I am talking about the curves that involve having a tummy and thick thighs that may have a bit of cellulite that deemed as not ok to have but is definitely a reality to have. I fall into the latter category. Sometimes I get down on myself about it, but ya’ll, I hate to work out. I don’t want to run on a treadmill daily and not be able to eat bread and pasta because they are my jam. I don’t want to have to count calories on day to day basis. I have done it before and it is the most saddening thing in the world to run out of calories when you are looking at a moist piece of cake or Oreos and milk sitting in front of you. Guess which one comes out on top? The cake and the Oreos for $500 Alex and I am ashamed, but not enough to change. On the bright side, Arie says that is ok so I am going to take her word for it.

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me

Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be

And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me

My feet, my thighs, my Lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see

This song has gotten me through a lot of self-esteem issues because it honestly gets to me when I see the skinny girl get the guy or the skinny girl with more “friends.” We are all people and we should be treated as equals because of what we have on the inside. I know that have a pretty badass personality. I am goofy, smart, kind, loyal and blah blah blah. I think I have a lot to offer to a friend and maybe even a potential beau. But unfortunately, I feel that I have to try harder to break down all the barriers built up against a woman like me because my outward appearance isn’t what society says is ok.

There was a point in life that I would have this song set to wake me up in the morning because I wanted to start off my day on a positive note. I wanted to hear it before I would have to look at myself in the mirror before I would brush my teeth and wash my face. I wanted to listen to the song before all of this so that when I did finally see my face bright and early, I would be able to see beyond the surface level. I would be able to see the beautiful girl that my parents gave birth to all those years ago. Now, I listen to this song when I have a rough day. I do not just listen to it necessarily just when I am doubting my self-worth. This song has a positive message altogether and has to ability to bring light into a day that is surrounded by darkness.

I think being a woman in America is actually a hard task. It is hard to prove that we are just as good as the boys and it’s frustrating because we are as good as them and maybe even better. I can without a doubt say that Hillary Clinton is a better politician that Donald Trump, but look who our president is. People like India Arie are very motivating because they embrace their femininity and don’t apologize for it. It makes Arie who she is. She can sing smooth melodies about being beautiful and being a woman and that is what got her to where she is today, a popular artist. She is someone that someone like me will always turn on when they are in a mood and want to feel better.

Am I less of a lady if I don’t wear pantyhose

My momma said a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows…

Unlike Arie, I am afraid to show others who I really am, to take off the makeup and to be free. I believe that I am truly a mess, but the mess that I claim that I am is me. I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. I laugh at things that are not funny. I am very sarcastic, loving, and kind. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t know if that is something to be proud of because when I hurt, I hurt, and it is not pretty. I am dramatic to a point that is ridiculous and my friends can vouch for that, but at the same time, I believe it is why they are my friends. I am one of a kind, there is probably no one out there exactly like me.

Arie says in the song that this is “a life learned lesson” that she was sent to share with her listeners. The lesson is to embrace all of you and share it with the world even if they don’t want to hear it. The fact that it is a “life learned lesson” makes me feel better about not being hip to the game all the way. I am technically still young, and there is a lot that I have not seen yet. With that being said, I am still a little ashamed that I know so much about how the world has built this standard that constantly puts people like myself down if they don’t fit in this box yet I still have self-esteem issues. I just wish I could throw up the middle finger to the population that tries to say that I am not beautiful. India Arie says that I am beautiful and that is the person that I should be listening to, her and others that are rooting for me to be the person that God created me to be.

So get in when you fit in

Go on and shine

Clear your mind

Now’s the time

Put your salt on the shelf

Go on and love yourself

‘Cause everything’s gonna be alright

I guess, all in all, Arie is saying that you shouldn’t settle for anything that doesn’t make you happy. “What god gave me is just fine…” Don’t fall into the trap of being someone you are not. You will not be happy in the long run.

I have grown up a lot from when I was constantly in the dumps about the way that I looked. Now I just embrace what I got and if others like it, great, but if not, then so be it. At the end of the day, I am the only one that has to look at myself on a daily basis, and like I said earlier, I have a lot more to offer than just my looks. I am a badass, and the sooner others realize it, the better their lives will be—just kidding. But on a serious note, if you change to be someone that society deems is appropriate, you may lose the authentic you in the process. Is it really worth it? Trust in God, he makes no mistakes. If you are not religious, trust the process—everything happens for a reason. Be you and embrace the ugly. This is something that I tell myself daily. It is really pessimistic, but I believe it is equivalent to what Arie is preaching in this song. Embrace the freckles, acne scars, and the extra cushion around your stomach. These are all things that society has deemed as “ugly,” but I am telling you to embrace it—it is what will set you apart.

Okay, I am done preaching about how this song has helped me embrace who I am. If you haven’t heard the song, I would encourage you to listen and take in the lyrics. You will probably understand better everything that I have babbled on about. And if you really like this song, Arie has other good ones that put you in a better mood and help you to put things into perspective. “Get it Together” is a good one and so is “I Am Not My Hair.”