A supreme court justice’s term is as long as their lifetime and Ruth is here to serve. After a Stanford University study found that the blood of young mice had a rejuvenating effect on older mice, a withering, 84-year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg was immediately hauled off to the Medstar Georgetown University Hospital to be filled with nearly 2000 cc of rodent blood. Just a few hours after the infusion Ruth was already walking steadier and emanating a kind of visceral glow.

“I haven’t felt like this since the Carter administration” Ginsberg stated, her favorite gavel thrust mere inches from the face of an NBC reporter. According to witnesses who have seen her jogging by the Washington memorial and punching meat in the freezer of the White House deli, Ruth appears to have a “new kind of fire in her eyes.” “It’s like a whole new Ginsburg.” Testimonies are coming in that she has not only gained an understanding of youth-related meme culture but also plans to beat the shit out Paul Ryan at the Lincoln memorial tomorrow, after government.