- You see that display of panties that was once pristine and organized that you just rifled through? I fixed that two hours ago. Now…I hate you.
- When I smile at you and say “Welcome to Victoria’s Secret!” what I really mean is “Please spend at least fifty dollars!”
- I am not responsible for corporate discontinuing your favorite perfume.
- I have no control over how fast we run out of your favorite bra. I am entry level employee. If you assume I do, you are an idiot.
- We no longer carry swimwear in stores. Don’t ask me to change that. I have no magic wand.
- Hovering around the small items with a big black bag is not subtle. I know you are stealing.
- Yes, we really do organize the bras and panties in ROYGBIV order. No, I don’t know why.
- Every woman actually has two bra sizes. It’s called sister sizes. Yes, I know. Impossible. Take your size, then go down one on the band number, up one on the cup size. Ba bing. Should fit the same.
- Don’t be embarrassed to lift up your shirt and show me the tag of your bra. It happens five times a shift and I have seen more Trust me.
- To all the men that are shopping for their wives/girlfriends, DEAR GOD KNOW HER SIZE WHEN YOU COME IN. It isn’t that hard to find out-just look in her drawer one day when she isn’t there. She won’t mind if it’s for a present. This prevents you from looking at my butt and or breasts to compare my size to your girlfriend’s. Not only does this make me feel very awkward, but it also won’t be an accurate guess.
- If you are on the phone the entire time I check you out and never even make eye contact with me, just know- I am cursing at you in my head.
- Your kid has every right to play under that table if he wants, but it may collapse on top of him. Our display tables are unstable. :/
- Speaking of kids, please leave them at home. I love children. But when you bring young children into a store where there is nothing they could want, they will scream.
- Decide on what you want before you get to the register. I would love to shop with you and help you find the perfect fit, but I cannot undo your purchase once you decide you want something else.
- Other customers exist besides you. If I am the only one in the store and I am talking to another person, do not get angry with me. I do not yet have the technology to clone myself. Sorry. PS- I see the cover photo of this article ten times a day because it hangs above the cash register.
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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