I'm a virgin: a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show virgin. I know what it is—I don't live under a rock (it's a relatively large pebble, actually). This year I watched the entire show with my hallmates and experienced very real body envy. I'm not even going to pretend like I don't want to start a diet right now. The girls know how to strut their stuff and they look damn good doing it, so kill me if I admit I'm currently purchasing a spin class package.

I believe that, more than anything, the show is an example of some serious girl power, because beauty comes in all sizes. You know they put in the work to defy gravity and exhibit zero jiggle. Everyone wants to know how they do it—what exactly is Victoria's secret?! According to the models, two months before the show they kick it into beast mode. This can mean more than one workout a day. If you prefer chips over triceps dips... same.

Also, on a side note, Bruno Mars wore heels. Even he wishes he had their bodies.

Celebrities tuned into the show too. Sarah Hyland tweeted a snap of two pizza boxes, with the caption: "Hello darkness my old friend #VSFashionShow." The sentiments seem to be the same, celebrity or not.

The supposed tension between Bella and her ex, The Weeknd, was minimal. She looked uncomfortable, but how would you feel if you had to walk by your ex half-naked and it's being recorded? I guess if you're going to see your ex, better on the VS runway than say, Trader Joe's at 9 a.m. The best part of their televised rendezvous was him reaching out as she walked away. BOY BYE. And that's how you run into your ex, ladies.

The real MVP though: Gaga.

Lady Gaga showed off her curves and reinforced what we already knew: she's one of the best entertainers of our time. When she spread angel wings of her own I might have cried a little bit. Still, the secret of the universe is how Gaga walks in ten-inch platform shoes without falling on her face. Just saying.