This letter is from me to you: a girl whose life was changed for the worse because of a terrible human being. The style of this letter reflects what your rapist should have written to you: an apology letter for all of the horrible events you have been forced to endure since that very first night when a terrible individual violated you and stole so much from you.

I want to start off and apologize for not knowing your name. Every single articleI have read on this case has referred to you as "the victim," "a women," and has somehow dehumanized you by replacing your identity with nouns and pronouns. However, I'm not sure if that was your choice in order protect yourself from spiteful individuals who would attack you even more than you've already been attacked. What I do know is that I wish I knew your name so that this letter could be more direct, personal and sincere.

I am sorry.

I am sorry for every single thing that you have gone starting from the night that a disgusting boy disrespected you and violated you. I am sorry that his name is the one in a majority of the headlines of the articles surrounding the crime he committed against you.I am sorry that it seems people- the media, his parents, the judge, seem more concerned for his future and how his actions have affected him rather than how they affected the victim (you).I am sorry that the media has re-victimized you since the dreadful moment that you found out what that boy did to you. You should not have had to find out about your own assault from the media rather than from the professionals who treated you and took you from the crime scene. Nobody should have to endure what you did that night, and the fact that you were not told anything about the incident by professionals is wrong on so many levels.

People are so focused on what that boy lost, but he didn't lose anything. He chose to give up his future and to ruin and dehumanize another human being by forcing himself upon you. I'm sorry that the media phrases the assault in terrible ways such as, "Stanford Student Assaulted." That headline right there takes all the blame and responsibility for the assault away from the boy (whose name I have refused to use because it's been in too many freaking articles). That headline makes it seem like something tragic just happened to you. For example, let's say that some man had rear ended your car sending you flying into a pole, and then an article was published and the headline read, "Car Soars Through Air and Crashes into Pole." Do you see how the responsibility of the man that rear ended you and caused your car to hit that pole is completely missing from the article? Do you see how it makes it appear that you were responsible for crashing your car? Well this is exactly what the media is doing with your assault. They are shifting the blame away from that boy and making it seem like something bad unfortunately happened to you. Which it did. However, there was a perpetrator who caused the assault. It was not your fault.

Speaking of the perpetrator. I am so sorry that that boy took so many things from you. I am sorry that he took your right to privacy. I am sorry that he took your right to defend yourself on two separate occasions: on the night that he raped you while you were unconscious and throughout the trial when he used your lack of memory to create his own version of the horrid assault.

I am also sorry that this justice system sucks when it comes to handling rape cases, especially in regards to college rape cases where alcohol is involved. For some reason society still partially blames the victim if they have gotten too out of control with drinking. Does anyone say that a man who was intoxicated and got murdered by another human being is responsible for getting murdered? No. Because that's insensitive and that man lost his life and that's not his fault.

Well shouldn't that be the same feeling regarding rape? You may not be murdered and six feet under, but you are dead inside. You lost your life. It will forever be divided into the before and after of the crime that was committed against you. Although you cannot remember that night, you will be haunted by it forever.

Society today needs to change their mindset and any preconceived views of rape that they have, because most of them are wrong. Drinking didn't ruin two lives that night. A repulsive boy's actions did. Consent cannot be given by either party if anyone is intoxicated. Saying nothing doesn't indicate consent. If someone doesn't verbally say yes regarding sexual activities, then they haven't consented to them.It's that simple, yet it seems that this boy's parents, the judge, the media and even the boy think that he did nothing wrong and he didn't rape you.

I am sorry for everything. Hopefully somehow, someday, some good will come from all of this tragedy and misfortune. I hope a light has been shed on the issues of our rape culture, because how many more individuals must be re-victimized and how many more perpetrators are going to be given ridiculously minimal charges before a change is made?