I Was A Victim of Domestic Violence | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

I Was A Victim of Domestic Violence

When it happens to one of us, it happens to all of us.

22
I Was A Victim of Domestic Violence
Fort Worth Safe Community Coalition

It was around this time two years ago up in Boone when one of my friends was going through some stuff with his girlfriend. They were the couple, unfortunately, that there was always some sort of issue--legitimate or not. They were a roller coaster ride of manic-depressive mood swings, too many bottles of wine and one too many tears. It was always a little uncomfortable, either because he is/was one of my best friends and then she would always try to talk to me about it. We all thought they should have broken up, which they did many times. Many times. And after a really rocky start to the school year, they had broken up again.

Or so we thought. They started talking again not long after and everything seemed okay. Then one night, as my other friend and I were just getting back from the store and taking shots of Evan Williams Green label in the kitchen, I got a text from her. She asked me to pour her a shot. See, she had been taking my friend to campus for some reason, but mostly so they could talk. I figured that their talk hadn't gone well, so I just replied "okay" and set out a shot for her. She showed up at my house, crying. I saw blood on her lip. I wasn't sure what to think.

She told me that they started arguing and he hit her. Now, I've known this kid for a long time and he's never been that kind of guy, but they're never that kind of guy--until they are. I asked if she had called the cops or told anybody about what had happened. When she said no, I gave her 30 minutes. I told her that if she didn't call someone in 30 minutes, that I would.

So I ended up calling the cops on my good friend. Long story short, he got arrested, charged, the whole nine. And it was a terrible situation. I haven't experienced anything in this world quite like this--calling the cops on someone you know that well. I've known his family, his dogs, his exes, I even knew his friends at other colleges. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do.

Throughout the course of the investigation, I came to believe that he hadn't done wrong like I had thought and the court seemed inclined to agree. We look back on the situation now--we crack awful jokes at his expense and threaten to call the cops on each other occasionally. But this story isn't about the outcome of the investigation. This story is about how it felt to be in an investigation like this.

When one of your friends is accused of doing something wrong in college, it's unfortunate and, yeah it sucks, but it's rarely serious. It's a drinking ticket, pot charge--maybe a bar fight. Domestic violence charges are serious. They change the way that you see a person. You wonder, whether you think they did it or not, what led to that point? Have they always lashed out like this? Did something in them finally just snap? Even though I felt positive he didn't do it, I spent weeks wondering how someone who I knew for so long could do something like that.

Here's the thing that people either don't know about domestic violence, or maybe just one of the things that people don't talk about, but domestic violence touches everyone when it happens. Whether you're the victim, the accused, some sort of bystander like I was, everyone is impacted. Your family, your workplace, even your schoolwork suffers. I was angry at both of them for putting me in a situation where I was forced to choose sides. Trust me on this one, calling the cops on someone is the biggest form of "choosing sides" that you can do in this world. It was very hard to be in that situation for me, as I'm sure it was for them.

People say, "If you see something, say something." It's a lot easier to see something going wrong and just start playing Angry Birds on your phone (people still play Angry Birds, right?). Saying something isn't fun and it isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do--even my friend who got arrested says so. Though I was in a situation where I felt I had to "choose sides," I know I did the right thing.

Domestic violence is a huge issue in this country and in our world. It's happening whether we want it to or not and whether we want to believe it or not. It's something we need to talk about, whether it's on a forum like this or in real life. I've said before that all lives can't matter until black lives do, but all lives really can't matter if we aren't looking out for the people we supposedly love.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Library Struggles Every College Student Will Understand

Are you really a college student if you don't stay up all night studying in your pajamas?

428
sleeping in the library
Daily Fun Lists

One of the most dreaded places on campus is the library. Nothing awesome ever happens here. Usually, the only reason you're here is because you've procrastinated so long that the library is the only place you'll actually get stuff done. It gives you this feeling of sadness and impending doom. You have no idea how this is going to go or how long you'll be here, but you do know it is about to be the most excruciating experiences yet. But it has to get done, so you drag yourself to the lovely library.

Keep Reading...Show less
Illistrated image of colorful balloons and fireworks
StableDiffusion

With each new year comes new goals.

Deciding on a goal can be hard, unsure of what to change for this new year. A new goal for myself is to be happier and take care of myself more. I am a very driven person; so driven that I commit to a million and ten things.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Pros And Cons Of Having A Birthday Near The Holidays

The truth of what it is like having a birthday around the holiday season.

3867
Christmas decoration
Flickr

It's the most wonderful time of the year!! But for some people, including myself and my Dad, it can have its ups and downs when it comes to having a birthday near and around the holiday season. I personally share a birthday with my Dad two days before Christmas. Yes, Christmas Eve Eve is our birthday. Here are a few pros and cons for having a birthday near the holidays.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas Tree Lights
Pixabay

It is that time of year again. Christmastime. It is one of my favorite seasons for a myriad of reasons. Here are just a few reasons why I love Christmas. This list is in no order of importance.

1. The Christmas decorations

I am that person who will decorate directly after Thanksgiving is over. This year, my roommates and I put the tree up in our apartment before we even left for Thanksgiving break. It is a great stress reliever for me to just sit in my living room and work on the huge amount of work I have before the semester is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
girl with santa hat
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

'Tis the season to be jolly folks, and if you're anything like me, then at the stroke of midnight on Halloween your home went from wicked to winter

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments