Nowadays, we live in a globalized world in which most of us have easy access to information. We are constantly bombarded with signs and symbols, and we often take culture and cultural differences for granted.
We millennials aren't afraid to dip into the cultural mix and match when it comes to friendship and dating. On the contrary, we often find these multi-cultural connections a necessity as we strive to enrich our environments.
But, what happens when we become romantically involved with someone from a different culture? Does it matter? Does it mean we have to be open-minded and able to adapt, not only to another person's personality but also their sets of cultural interpretations? I believe the answer is yes, we do. I am a 34-year-old millennial (yes! I still count as a millennial, born in 82), I have lived in two continents, four countries, and too many cities to count. I have also been married twice. Both my marriages have been to individuals from a culture different than mine. Call me risky! I just like the challenge.
I was born in one country to which my parents didn't belong. And even after we moved back to their home country they kept many elements of their borrowed culture in my life. According to experts, that makes me a "Third Culture Kid." Third culture kid (TCK) is a term used to refer to children who were raised in a culture outside of their parents' culture for a significant part of their development years.
As a third culture kid, I learned at a very young age to understand the subtle cultural differences that make us "us." I also learned to respect other's opinions and thoughts even when they aren't my own. Everyone has a point of view, often determined by educational background, culture, andenvironment.
As an adult - now living in the United States - I still struggle to find meaning in some non-verbal cues and some cultural interpretations that only make sense to my peers who grew up in the States. This phenomenon has an impact on my relationships, as often times I feel lost or disconnected. Sometimes my peers might feel I am socially inept as I am unable to emotionally connect with a symbol that has a meaning for them (happens mostly when it comes to things we relate to from childhood like TV programs or songs.)
Here is when once again semiotics comes into place. In previous articles I have explained how semiotics is the science of meaning and interpretation of signs and symbols and how these signs and symbols are irremediably culturally dependent. So when you grow up in one country and are exposed to certain elements of pop culture, you attach meaning to these elements and you carry that meaning throughout your adulthood. However, if you encounter someone who grew up in a different country, they might not be able to make the same connection. How can you feel connected to something you have never been exposed too? There is no stimuli.
This scenario happens more often than not to people who move to different countries. Lost in translation of sorts, even when the language isn't a barrier. Also, this culture-semiotics relation can be seen in the way we interpret actions. Some cultures are more straightforward than others. In some cultures, for example, eye contact is a must while in others it can be disrespectful. So when it comes to these differences, who has to adapt in a relationship? A few days ago someone told me "Well in our culture that is considered rude," Rude? I wasn't trying to be rude I was trying to be direct to avoid misinterpretations, but it seems my message was decoded wrongly - again lost in semiotic translation- and communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication. Multi-cultural relationships have to work extra hard to win the abstract battle between coding and decoding messages.
Don't give up! But please do keep in mind when talking to your foreign friends or partners in crime. Adaptation and communication are thekey! Talk about your cultural differences and understand where some people might be coming from when they see and interpret the world in a different way than you.