A few years ago, I made the decision on a whim to become a vegetarian. After watching a few documentaries on animal cruelty and factory farming, I became disgusted with the way we use and abuse animals for our own gain, and the immense suffering that animals have to face every day in the agricultural industry.

It took me a few months of deciding if vegetarianism was something that I wanted to pursue before I made it my new year’s resolution to cut out all meat from my diet. I hesitated to tell my family about this decision, as I was known to be a heavy consumer of all types of animal products, especially meat (beef, cheese, eggs, chicken, etc) and I didn’t know how they would react.

Once I told my family about it, they were supportive and gave me the money to purchase whatever meat substitutes or vegetarian meals that I wanted to buy. I stocked up on every type of fake meat imaginable, as my meals heavily consisted of meat before I became a vegetarian, and I knew that I would start to crave the taste of meat if I didn’t substitute it with something that tasted at least somewhat similar to it.

Although I stuck with my vegetarian diet for a few months, by the time March rolled around, I was back to my old ways. I started eating all types of meat without a care in the world, and although I knew how cruel the agricultural industry was to animals and the environment, it was almost like I was desensitized to eating meat. Somehow, the fact that I was eating an animal that was once living and thriving wasn’t present in my head in those moments.

I toggled with the idea of vegetarianism for about a year after stopping initially and decided to become a vegetarian again for the new year. I was vegetarian for about five months and eventually decided to become a vegan at the beginning of summer 2017. Even though I was a rather unhealthy vegan, compared to what I was eating before, veganism felt so much better for my body.

I didn’t experience the boost in energy that many vegans boast about, but I didn’t feel sick after my meals like many of my meat-heavy and/or dairy-heavy meals. I felt a lot better about what I was putting in my body, and most of all, I felt like I was putting my money towards something that aligned with my morals.

As the summer slowly came to an end, I became increasingly worried about going back to school as a vegan. I would be living in a dorm, and since I cooked all of my meals, I wasn’t sure how I would be able to manage dorm life with the upkeep of a vegan lifestyle. Unfortunately, as I got back to college, I slowly began to revert to vegetarianism.

Vegetarianism turned into pescetarianism, which then turned into pollotarian.

I was extremely disappointed in myself. I had been dealing with a lot of issues at the time (stress from school, anxiety, depression) but it was no excuse not to stick with what I had originally intended.

When the end of the semester hit, I knew I wanted to make a change. Once again, for the new year, I decided to cut out fish and chicken from my diet, and slowly began to make the transition towards veganism. Right now, I am completely plant-based and I don’t consume any animal products.

Even though I have gone back and forth many times going from vegan to vegetarian, vegetarian to pescetarian, pescetarian to pollotarian, I truly believe that I can stay vegan for life. Veganism is extremely important to me and though I have been through a lot on my journey, I never want to go back to eating the way I was before.