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Listen To The Old Wive's Tale, Vaseline Is Magic And Here Are 11 Reasons Why

Jennifer Aniston. Need I say more?

Jennifer Kustanovich

May 22, 2018

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

2362

Listen To The Old Wive's Tale, Vaseline Is Magic And Here Are 11 Reasons Why

adin.hijabmalang on Instagram

Vaseline, the strongest moisturizer to bust dry skin, is the best thing since sliced bread. My mom's obsession has been passed down to me ever since she started using the gentle skin therapy on my precious newborn baby skin. Skin is our largest organ of the human body and must be taken care of as such! I remember watching my mom spend our nights smearing pounds of vaseline on her winter-dry hands to ensure baby soft hands in the morning.

I've been hooked since then.

1. How cute are these baby Vaselines?!

Portable Vaseline! My dream come true.

2. The excitement when Vaseline Intense Care Body Lotion came out

My roommate showed me this scrumptious smelling lotion—Cocoa Radiant body lotion—and, I swear, your skin not only glows, but you want to lick it off it smells so good. Don't judge me until you've used it.

3. The tinted lip is literally the only lip balm I'll ever use

Sorry, Kylie, but your lip kit isn't for me. I'm more than fulfilled with my Vaseline rosy lips.

4. The plethora of uses

It's a miracle worker for almost anything! I swear it's magic. Vaseline's use is more valuable than just what it's advertised for.

5. Vaseline + SPF = mindblown

Yes, you heard it right! There are Vaseline products with SPF! Skincare, here I come!

6. How much Vaseline would it take to fill a bathtub?

Just asking for a friend.

7. Profession: Vaseline hoarder

Hi, my name is Jennifer Kustanovich and I have bottles of Vaseline in my car, under my bed, in my pocket, in my bag, and by this time I wouldn't be surprised if bottles fall out as I walk by.

8. I've consumed a ton of it. Will I die?

Okay, but what is Vaseline? Petroleum jelly doesn't sound like something I want to rub all over myself, but yet I do it anyway. Any doctors or pre-med students to help me with this dilemma? I don't want to end up on TLC's "My Strange Addictions" where my friends drag me to a doctor who tells me that I've been licking, eating, and slathering poison.

For your information, I don't eat the product; but when it's on my lips all day, it's bound to be unintentionally ingested.

10. Jennifer Aniston has the same obsession

Jennifer Aniston. Need I say more? Her porcelain wrinkle-free face is all due to the works of Vaseline.

11. Beauty insider tip: Vaseline is natural mascara

Beyonce is even behind this trick: spread a dollop of the magic on your lashes in the morning/night and watch the sorcery for yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Listen To The Old Wive's Tale, Vaseline Is Magic And Here Are 11 Reasons Why

Jennifer Aniston. Need I say more?

1. How cute are these baby Vaselines?!

2. The excitement when Vaseline Intense Care Body Lotion came out

3. The tinted lip is literally the only lip balm I'll ever use

4. The plethora of uses

5. Vaseline + SPF = mindblown

6. How much Vaseline would it take to fill a bathtub?

7. Profession: Vaseline hoarder

8. I've consumed a ton of it. Will I die?

10. Jennifer Aniston has the same obsession

11. Beauty insider tip: Vaseline is natural mascara

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Winter blues got you down? Summer is just around the corner!

1. No school = no stress.

2. Country music is more fun to listen to.

3. Your skin looks and feels better.

4. Being barefoot 24/7 is an option.

5. Ice cream is an acceptable snack.

6. Minimal clothing is required.

7. Going to the beach daily isn't weird.

8. Cookouts.

9. Night swimming.

10. Spontaneous adventures.

The craziest, funniest, and most unforgettable college memories are impossible to create without an amazing group of friends.

I'm fine. This is my natural face.

1. Strangers have told you "Smile!" on regular occasions

2. The first thing people say to you is "Are you okay?"

3. Dates have texted you asking if they bored you

4. Or, they tell you they don't want to go out again because you didn't seem interested

5. People question your level of comfort in any given situation

6. Friends have said, "When I first met you, I thought you didn't like me." and were totally serious about it

7. Jokes don't land well because people can't tell if you're serious or not

8. You've been told customer service isn't for you because you never smile

9. In fact, in your yearly review, your manager always writes to smile more under "room for improvement"

10. You hate when people have their cameras out taking candids

11. Even when you smile for a photograph it looks like either A) you're trying too hard or B) you're the Mona Lisa

12. Things can even get a little awkward when you smile

13. You regularly are told "I'm never sure how you feel about things"

14. You've scared strangers on the train/bus/sidewalk with your death glares-- even though they're unintentional and you're not really looking at them

15. Christmas and birthdays are hard because you have to figure out how to look like you're pleased with all your gifts even when you are

16. People frequently tell you you're intimidating

17. Friends stop inviting you to things because they think you don't like going

18. Your parents have RBF (it's definitely genetic. Thanks, Mom).

No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

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