To be alone is one of the best and worst feelings in the world. But for someone like me it’s always been a very difficult process. I was incredibly lucky to grow up with a huge family and I was always surrounded by people. This helped me to avoid social anxiety as I grew up and to give me a constant sense of belonging. But it also made me appreciate the little moments where I was finally allowed some privacy. In my house, alone time was precious. If anyone ever got the entire house to themselves, even for an hour, it was a beautiful and luxurious hour in which one didn’t have to fight over the remote as they ate cereal on the couch.
Eventually we all grew up though and I moved out and went to college, ecstatic at the prospect of having my own space and more privacy than I could ever imagine. The first few weeks were wonderful and I loved being alone or at least more alone than I had ever been. But after a while, it was really hard. I’ve had to face a lot of anxiety and loneliness as I learned how to be comfortable all by myself. Yet I would still say it’s one of the best skills I’ve ever learned.
No matter what anyone says, friends, family, or significant others, the only person that you will always be able to rely on is yourself. Whether I wanted to or not, I learned this the hard way as I faced a lot of different emotional issues and homesickness by myself. At first I was incredibly resentful that I had to do so much by myself but I think I’ve come to be a stronger person for it. I definitely feel more comfortable relying on myself than I ever did before.
It’s also surprisingly easy to use others to create yourself. I really didn’t know who I was without being surrounded by a bunch of people. In order to become myself I had to realize that being alone is really the only way that I could ever grow. By no means was this an easy or really even a happy process but I am happier for it. I’ve grown and I’ve become more of an individual because I’ve accepted myself and my personality without relying on anyone else to tell me if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve become happier and more comfortable in my own body and mind than ever before.
After advoctating for everyone to find themselves in being alone, I feel as though I should probably mention that it’s still great to have people around you and in fact it’s really important. But don’t ever forget the value that you have by yourself. And don’t think that being alone means something bad about you, it simply means that when you’re forced to be alone, everything will be much more okay for you.
