I have an “I’m with Her” pin on my purse, and while out in public a complete stranger thought it was a good idea to inform me that my “lady parts” were influencing my political ideology. That was not the first time I have heard of people justifying female Hillary Clinton supporters by vaginal solidarity, or hearing of people who shame individuals with vaginas that are not voting for Hillary (this is sexism, too), but it was the first time someone directed the insult towards me, and so to the blue-shirted man shopping in the candy aisle of Hy-Vee: at the time, I was too focused on buying ice cream and too shocked to say anything back to you, but I’ve had a couple weeks to think, so listen up. This educated rant is, in part, made possible by you.

Women in politics. You might be thinking something along the lines of “Hey, it’s 2016. There’s a woman running for president, there are women in our local branches of government and in The House and The Senate, and women can vote so do we really have an issue here?”

Yes. Yes we do.

There are women in our government bodies, this is true. But looking at the big picture, like how many men are government employees in comparison to female employees, we begin to see the problem. According to the Center for American Women and Politics, 104 of the 535 seats of our U.S. Congress are held by women in 2016. The House of Representatives is 19.3% female (84 women out of 435 men). And out of the 312 Statewide Elective Executive Offices, 76 of those Executives are women. Women of color and women who identify as LGBT are in even further minority in these positions of power. Simply saying “better some than none” isn’t helpful either, because it promotes the sexist idea that women, across socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, and race, are all the same; they have the same needs, wants, problems, and lifestyles, and can therefore be “adequately” represented by just a few females.

Some use the excuse “women aren’t running for office” to defend this lack of representation, and they’re right. Women aren’t in the majority of those running for office because of gendered expectations and deeply ingrained sexism. Society emphasizes that competition and leadership are masculine traits, traits that are, consequentially, required when running for positions of power. Young women are (often unconsciously) encouraged to be respectful, caring, and helpful. “But wait,” you might say, “those traits are fantastic, I’d love to have a leader who respects me as a constituent and listens to my suggestions and critiques!” Believe me, I feel the same way, but normalized gendered behavior emphasizes an avoidance of conflict or contest for young women, and therefore young women are not being encouraged to seek out positions of authority. Instead, “boys will be boys” and are expected to assert themselves with dominance and aggression, while girls are reminded to remain “ladylike” and are taught to compromise when it comes to opposition.

Gendered communication also greatly affects political relationships and power. Once again, societal “nurturing” of young men teaches them that masculinity is synonymous with dominance. Do not apologize. Do not show emotion. Do what it takes to domineer control. Masculine communication styles are not necessarily negative, but combine them with gendered behavioral expectations for young men and they become debilitating. Masculine communication skills are associated with power and success, and allow the individual to gain control over their environment and the people that inhabit it. Feminine communication focuses on warmth, connection, resolution, and listening. Feminine communication emphasizes building relationships and making sure that everyone contributes and feels included. Like masculine communication, feminine communication skills are not necessarily negative, but again, combined with sexist expectations regarding femininity, these skills often inhibit women from being assertive or authoritative. Personally, I apologize far too often. Yes, it’s important to express regret when it is due, but I’ve found myself apologizing for asking to use the restroom, or when asking for help, or even when I start emails in which I have nothing to apologize for. Binary gender expectations inhibit everyone’s successes, and often constrain women in politics and in the workforce.

And of course, what happens when women in power don’t conform to feminine patterns of communication or gendered expectations for women? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the double standard! You know how Hillary Clinton is often described as cold? It’s because she is a masculine communicator and her behavior is similar to the male politicians around her. And yet, you don’t see people calling her male competitors “rigid and unfeeling” simply because they don’t smile as much or because they’re serious when they talk about their issues. It’s the classic example of a female boss compared to a male boss; when a woman is authoritative, she is bossy and overbearing. When a man is authoritative, he is competent and intelligent. That’s because we are taught to expect women to be nurturing, caring, and warmhearted every second of every day and positions of power often demand an exertion of control and assertiveness, which, do not align with sexist expectations of “female characteristics.”

The media also contributes to the double standard through sexist coverage of campaigns. Remember the big deal over Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits, rather than the coverage of her campaign platforms and political ideology? Have you ever noticed how Carly Fiorina arrives to political events “in a light blue suit with tan pumps and a beige handbag” while male politicians simply “arrive?” Does it seem odd to you that in interviews, male politicians receive questions that are almost always about their campaign, their education, their proposed changes to current social infrastructure and their successes, while female politicians are asked about their families, their children, their hair and about “how they’re managing to do it all?” Sexism doesn’t discriminate based on political party; Democrat or Republican, Liberal or Conservative, female politicians are attacked with similar patterns of disrespect and prejudice.

And now, finally, to address any and all "vagina" comments: how dare you turn an important political and societal judgment that most women and myself have researched, followed, and supported for years into nothing? How dare you suggest that our decisions should be or are based purely on genital similarity? How dare you reduce us to nothing more than a body part? Vaginas cannot vote. I can absolutely promise you that no women in the upcoming election will be voting with their vaginas because it seems really painful, you’d have to be insanely flexible, and it sounds ridiculously unhygienic.

"I’m now gonna give you permanent answers to all the silly questions you’re going to end up asking me and every other women in this election over the next few months.

Why did I change my hairstyle? Oh, I don’t know. I just thought it would look better. Or, my kids got gum in it. Are you trying to have it all? That question makes no sense. It’s a stupid question. Stop asking it. Don’t ask it. Do you miss your kids while you’re at work? Yes. Of course I do everybody does. And then, you know, sometimes I don’t."
-Leslie Knope