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If Vaccines Were College Majors

The debate of whether or not you want your kids to be vaccinated is not here to be discussed but imagine seeing these diseases on YOUR college campus.

Jacob Prest

Mar 12, 2019

University of Maine Odyssey Pro Wrestling (OPW)

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Vaccinations are a big thing for newborns and young children so that they can be immune to diseases as they continue to grow. Polio, Rabies, and Hep-A have been listed as 'Inactivated/killed' (according to Carrington College's website), so these will be excluded.

However, the seven main vaccinations that are going to be presented will be reimagined as college majors. Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

1. Rotavirus — Biology major

Rotavirus is a disease that infects infants and young children in their intestines (yuck!). It can cause diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and other symptoms. Biology studies the literal art of humans, animals, and environments' internal structure. Expect Rotavirus to be in your BIO 100 course freshman year, nose deep in the textbook on the first day of school.

2. Yellow Fever — Hospitality Management major

Hospitality Management major, aka 'I travel almost all the time and get a sense of tourism'. There's one person you know on campus that is either that major or close to it. Yellow fever is an infection from an infected mosquito in tropical or warm areas, so they wear repellent and other avoidance of this disease. Happy travels!

3. Shingles — Nursing major

Shingles, or Zoster (official name), are painful rashes that can appear on your body as you get older. Children suffering from chickenpox could develop into shingles as they get older. Shingles is the Nursing major in a similar class, studying how to care for patients and work in the medical world. They're always searching for answers, working close to doctors, and making sure their careers involve happy faces at the ER and such. Make friends with a Nursing major, but don't get shingles.

4. Influenza — Undecided major

They're everywhere on campus, so just go with it.

5. Measles/Mumps — Government/Political Science major

Measles and Mumps cause rashes, temporarily lose your appetite, and other harms to your body. Government or Political Science majors closely study history, culture, actions, and governments in general in order to develop more critical thinking methods of interacting state and the individual.

6. Smallpox — Computer Science major

Smallpox also causes increasingly painful rashes, dents, and bumps on your skin. Increasingly painful, just like the study of computer science. Those who choose to pursue that as a major go through tons of classes relating to comp engineering, software development, and computers in general. Maybe one day, that CompSci kid you knew sophomore year becomes the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.

7. Chickenpox — Communications major

Chickenpox is another form of rashes, except they appear as red blotches on skin. Many kids have suffered from this once, including myself. Communications involves storytelling, radio, and some forms of writing. You'll definitely encounter a Communications major on campus, always telling stories and having a contagious personality...er, sorry, an embraceable personality.

Overall, these majors and vaccines go hand-in-hand!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

If Vaccines Were College Majors

The debate of whether or not you want your kids to be vaccinated is not here to be discussed but imagine seeing these diseases on YOUR college campus.

1. Rotavirus — Biology major

2. Yellow Fever — Hospitality Management major

3. Shingles — Nursing major

4. Influenza — Undecided major

5. Measles/Mumps — Government/Political Science major

6. Smallpox — Computer Science major

7. Chickenpox — Communications major

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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