Jealousy can and will negatively impact life when you let what others have or do "better" fester, resulting in low self-esteem. Jealousy is a self -destructive emotion, which causes one to become complacent in life. This complacency eventual manifests itself into random out lashes towards those who possess what is desired. However, with growth and maturity comes with the realization that emotions are controllable. Even a highly negative emotion such as jealousy can be controlled and used as a constructive tool for growth. I do not condone petty jealousy by any means, but it is a human emotion we all have experienced. The opportunity arises to use it as a motivation for internal reflection and self- improvement.

Remember your strengths.

Write down the qualities that make you proud of yourself. Let the list serve as a self- esteem booster, we are all good at different things, appreciate your qualities, strengths, and assets. It sounds cliché, but low esteem affects many deeply and superficially.

Hidden Desires

If you find yourself feeling jealous, take note of what specifically is making you want. Did the person receive a promotion, are they artistic, do they possess a quality you admire? You may have been unaware you wanted it, until now. If it is admiration, work on how you can develop the qualities you admire, whether it’s public speaking for example or some other ability. If you are jealous of a friend with a better paying job, this may be your heart letting you know that it is time to develop yourself in order to reach goals. Write your goals down and prepare a plan of action that is realistic and personal. For those who are unaware of what or why you want, this is the perfect time to dig deep within yourself to discover the life and person you want to become.

Stay Focused

Once you have your goals and plan of action complete, STAY FOCUSED. It does not help to try to be or have exactly the object of your jealousy, instead make it personal, what is meant for another, may not be meant for you. Spend time motivating and improving self, which fuels and develops work ethic, promotes a positive attitude as well as influence over others.

One More Cliché

Are you ready for another?... The grass is not always greener on the other side. That was Fun!! It is easy to get caught up being on the outside looking in, but you never know the realities of a situation. Your friend has a new car or a wonderful relationship, but what you may not see is how hard they have to work to pay for the new car. You don’t see that the relationship may look wonderful to you, but it could be superficial. Often times you may think you want something, later realizing it is not what you expected, because it’s someone else’s life, completely void of personal interest.

Jealousy can destroy someone and others around them if not used properly as motivation to further oneself. Let it turn into admiration, express this admiration to the individual, trust me it will open the opportunity to ask them about their successes and failures. You can then use their story to reflect on self.