Let’s face it. A five-year-old girl had no business crooning “It’s okay girl / ‘cause I’mma be alright tonight” at the top of her lungs from the backseat of her mother’s car, but you couldn’t tell that to me. Usher’s 2001 hit “U Don’t Have to Call,” or “the phone song,” as I innocently dubbed it, catapulted the borderline unhealthy obsession of the R&B chart-topper that I embrace today. In honor of the release of his eighth studio album, Hard II Love, I wish to share with you the gravity of my Usher craze.

There are three things that I love most in this world: writing, Skittles, and Usher. I scold my friends when they have the audacity to jam to “Burn” on Snapchat without me present. I know whose situation Usher was really singing about in “Confessions Part II.” I experienced my first kiss on October 14, 2010. I remember this day not because it was the first time I locked lips with someone, but because it was the day that Usher Terry Raymond IV turned 32 years old.

Still don’t believe I’m obsessed?

Flash back to 2004. I was at my uncle’s house, and I happened to walk past the living room where a music video was playing on the television. As I stole a glimpse at the screen, I spied Usher dancing effortlessly in a dark suit atop a pearly white stage, singing about a girl who had him “caught up.” The camera zoomed in on his face – his smooth, brown skin, his chiseled jaw, his stylish shades – and my poor heart was never the same.

I’ll admit that I was not living on Earth when Usher began his career, but I still appreciate it as though I was old enough to understand the lyrics of “Trading Places” when the song debuted. My mother planted the seeds of my obsession, though it has blossomed into something more than she probably anticipated when she used to blast his tracks on the radio. If there is anyone I would want to share my Usher hysteria with, it’s my mother. In fact, she accompanied me to his concert at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans two years ago. I convinced her to purchase an overpriced T-shirt emblazoned with his shirtless chest that I had to have, and together we sang hilariously off-key to every song he performed. I cried happy tears when he first took the stage, and I screamed bloody murder when he took off his shirt. It remains one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had.

Ever since his new album premiered, I’ve exhausted the repeat button, savoring the sound of his melodious voice through my eardrums. Though I enjoy other artists of the R&B realm, such as Chris Brown, Trey Songz, and August Alsina, Usher is and will forever be my favorite. I reference his name at least twice a day. I sigh with exaggerated fixation when I see his face on my social media feeds. Whether I’m humming the throwback “U Make Me Wanna” or the recent “No Limit,” I appreciate Usher as the man and the entertainer.

So if you’re wondering what to get me as a gift, a smiling picture of Usher will suffice.