Hey you, little freshman, just finishing up your first year of college. First thing's first: YA DID IT. I know you thought you wouldn't make it to spring semester, let alone the last month of the school year. Yep, it's April, school is almost out, and you're almost on your way home for #summer17 to brag about your amazing, unparalleled life in Los Angeles. But before you get some much needed and deserved R+R, let's make sure you're getting all your ducks in a row before you jet off to check off those summer bucket list items.

You're going to be a sophomore, mom and dad are finally letting you bring your car to school, and you're saying goodbye to dining halls and dorm rooms. So before you make any rash decisions, let's hash out the dos and don'ts of your housing choices for Fall 2017. Here are honest profiles of your major housing options as you strut into your second -- and soon to be greatest -- year of college yet. And you thought freshman year was fun? Patience, young Trojan.The only way to go from here is up.

1. Lorenzo

Admit it: everyone's talking about it. All your friends have iPads from signing their 9 months leases, and they have a washer and drying in unit -- the things 20-somethings dream of. But you're also a 12-hour walk from school and you'll spend half of your free time either on a shuttle or waiting for one to charter you back and forth between your resort-life living and your 8AM classes.

2. The Shrine

Conveniently located a block from campus, The Shrine is a great option for the minimalists. Tiny rooms provide the opportunity to downsize as you move out of one shoe box and move into another. The late night musical guests are also an added bonus (and a means of sleep deprivation) as the crowd bumps to EDM just a stone's throw your window.

3. The Row

Whether you've gone Greek, Latin, or Gaelic, the row is a legitimate housing option for about one-fourth of the USC student population. Who doesn't want to live in a house full of 60-80 college-aged kids?

4. Olympic Village

It's called Olympic Village for a reason: Olympians roam the streets. No, for real -- they do. USC is known for our top-notch athletes, and Olympic Village is the place they like to sleep. You'll hear dozens of athletes biking to practice for those 5AM workouts, and you'll be surrounded by quads, quads, and more quads. And not the grassy, lay out and sunbathe kind. #gains

5. Tuscany

Oh, you didn't know this was an apartment complex? Don't worry, you're probably not alone. Wedged between Exposition Park and the roaring 110, Tuscany offers a decent apartment complex, with Chipotle, Coldstone, and The Coffee Bean (literally) under your pillow. Sounds tight, right?! What's also tight: parking. Reason: see aforementioned food establishments.

6. Icon

I honestly can't even tell you anything of substance about Icon, because I literally don't know anything of substance about Icon. If Icon't even talk about it, it probably isn't a thing.

7. University Housing

While the location is fair to mediocre (compared to Lorenzo) and the price is somewhat reasonable, I have two letters for your Thursday- Saturday nights: RA.

8. West 27th

If you're not on 27th (the row) you might as well be west of 27th, amirite? Except that West 27th is actually east of the only part of 27th that actually matters, and that you're residing next to a Grinder. It just doesn't even sound appealing.

9. University Gateway

With just a crosswalk separating you from campus, Gateway's super close proximity presents only one problem: you have absolutely zero reason to be late for that 8AM. You can spend your weekends (and weekdays -- we don't judge) basking in the LA rays on the Sun + Soak deck, run downstairs for all of your corner market CVS necessities, and satisfy your unending sweet tooth with both Cream and Yogurtland. It's clean, it's safe, and it's affordable. And did I mention dessert?