Let's face it, we all love a good "As Told By" listicle. There's always an absolute glee we feel when we completely relate to the "11 Things That Happen When You Don't Have Your Morning Cup of Ayahuasca" as told by the ingeniously selected seven memes and four GIFs of nothing but Antonio Banderas' chin.
It's almost as if the writer of the article deliberately picked a topic that you would have to be living under a rock to not recognize, and then wrote a series of the vaguest, most universally experienced statements that are literally impossible for any human being to read and not feel even any inkling of relation, and topped it off by using a hastily selected theme that either has a large meme/GIF base, or the entire concept is so incredibly stupid that you have to spend six minutes of putting off your far more important student/occupational duties to see how this author [who most likely does not know jack squat about the concept] will even adequately blend all of these aspects together.
In all honesty, I was too busy editing the sentence above that was a longer run-on than the one in the opening paragraph of Henry David Thoreau's Walden to remember the critical point I was going to make, but in the meantime, please enjoy the concept of "As Told By" listicles, as explained by the early 2000's Nickelodeon classic that I despised so much, I refused to watch a single episode of, As Told By Ginger .
1. The One That Reels You In, Even Though You Don't Fully Understand The Correlation
2. The One That Almost Makes You Laugh, And So You Arrive At The Sudden Realization That You Have No Choice But To Make It To The End Of This God-Forsaken Listicle
3. The GIF That You Try To Load On Your Phone, But Can't Because You Have Only Two Bars, No LTE, And Are Not Connected To Any WIFI, So You Just Skip It
It didn't really make sense anyway.
4. The One That Makes You Think, "Oh, What I'd Give For The Good Old Days."
5. The One Where Only A Certain Niche Of Readers Will Understand The Struggles
7. The One That Makes You Reevaluate Everything You've Ever Thought To Be True
Did I miss Number 6?
6. The One I Missed
8 . The One You Really Could Have Gone Your Whole Life Without Seeing, And You Would Have Been Fine, If Not Better.
9. The One Where Your Life-Long Catch Phrase Casually Appears
10. The One That Makes You Really Miss Your Mom And Want To Call Her To Tell Her That, But You Can't Because It's Two O'Clock In The Morning, And You Know Your Mom Would Be Totally Happy To Talk To You And Tell You She Misses You Too, But Dad's Got A Semi-Early Flight To Cleveland In The Morning For Work, So You Decide Not To Call, But To Send A Text Saying, "I Luv U" After Your Second Morning Class, Which Your Mom Reads Right Away, But Doesn't Respond Until Two Hours Later, And Says, "Sorry!!! I Was In A Meeting1!!! I Love You Too!!!!<3" With That Winky-Kissy Face Emoji That Is Somehow Only Acceptable For Your Mom, Bae, or BFF To Use Or Else It's Really Freaking Creepy
11. The One That Makes You Kind Of Glad You Stayed Until The End
I still can't remember the critical point I was trying to make in the run-on sentence, but thanks for reading my first Odyssey piece! I hope you enjoyed it more than I enjoyed the two minutes of As Told By Ginger I watched as a child before I decided that it was not the show for me [or anybody].
