If you are thinking about moving into an upstairs apartment, there are some qualifications that you need to meet in order to be the best neighbor possible.

1. You must always wear heeled shoes. Pumps. Boots. Whatever. But only heels.

2. You need to be nocturnal. Do everything from 10pm to 6am. Cleaning. Laundry. Having sex. Watching movies. Vacuuming. You name it.

3. Collecting small, droppable items is essential. Rocks or marbles would be good choices. And you have to make sure you drop them on the floor at least one a day.

4. TV or movies need to be watched at full volume every time. Same rules apply when listening to music.

5. If you work out, jumping jacks and other aerobics are required.

6. Any fights with your significant other or need to be made with your loud, outside voice so your neighbors can hear both sides of the argument.

7. Your furniture should be rearranged once a week. It's best to do this in the early morning or late at night.

8. If you have a dog, don't ever tell it to stop barking.

But in all seriousness, what do y'all do up there?! Bowl? Roller skate? And why do you drop stuff so much? I need to know.