Growing up, out in the middle of nowhere and about 95 percent sheltered from the world, I learned I was different from people. My physical coordination as a kid was off. I needed therapists and therapy a LOT. I was often more trusting and yet more blunt than most kids probably were, and often came off as either ditzy or too outspoken for my own good. Yet, despite this and my daydreamy demeanor in class, my teachers realized I was quite intelligent. The only difference was, my brain works differently than most people's. Not that this is always a bad thing; in fact, sometimes I think it's awesome. But there are drawbacks to having Asperger's (being a high-functioning autistic person), too. Here's the lowdown on what it's like growing up that way:

Cons:

(The reason I start with the cons is to get them done and out of the way. LOL)

1. Tactlessness.

Aspies are kind of infamous for speaking their minds and being blunt, regardless of what it is. This can come across as hurtful in some senses to "normal" people, but in fact we usually don't mean to insult you like that. We just basically have no filter. That doesn't mean that we don't necessarily have zero concept of right and wrong (we do), but we just have no higher-level social awareness. One of my biggest wishes right now, in fact, is that when I eventually get to heaven, God will take that away from me so I can avoid unintentionally hurting people anymore.

2. Difficulty understanding sarcasm, slang, expressions, etc.

This is another biggie. Although, ever since I was little I had a good sense of figures of speech (thanks to my folks taking the time to read "Amelia Bedelia" books to me), I still had trouble figuring out sarcasm. Today, I am much better at this, unless I just met the sarcastic person and/or they're one of those people who make it VERY challenging to be able to tell if they're actually being serious or not. I've even become quite the sarcastic person, myself, although I think that partial payback to people who're insensitive sarcastics to Aspies is that Aspies are shamelessly blunt in return -- and tell those people exactly what they think of them. ;)

3. Difficulty in motor skills.

As said before, I was never very coordinated as a young child. I had to get professional help for things like biking and was never flexible enough to attempt things like handstands, cartwheels, backflips, somersaults, etc. I had a lot of physical therapy as a kid though, that's why you'd never be able to tell by looking at me -- especially considering I'm a black belt!

4. Talking too fast, too loud, too soft or too slow for the appropriate situation.

I get told constantly by my kid brother to "slow down and take a breath" because, well, I'm a talker -- what can I say? I get excited when I have something I need to tell someone/ the world! This can become an obstacle, however, in listening skills; in fact, the very word "autism" comes from "autos" which means, self. This can be partially resolved in slowing down, pausing in between and taking time to recognize the other person and their opinions. I also have little sense of how loud I (subconsciously and usually unintentionally) get. If you encounter an Aspie like this, give them a gentle reminder.

5. Inability to read others' body language/ facial expressions.

This is a HUGE communication barrier, sadly. We often get wrapped up in our own thoughts, feelings and ideas that we often fail to notice the other person's fidgeting, their downcast eyes, or even when they beam with happiness (OK, I'll admit the LAST one I'd probably notice), unless we're truly focusing on analyzing (quite uncomfortably) that other person's every movement. Again, we don't mean to seem inconsiderate in the least, unless that is that particular Aspie's personality as a whole; it's just we can't tell, can't pick up subtle physical cues. I've learned how to tell ways if someone's absolutely elated or glum, but that's about it for me. Unless you wear your heart on your sleeve, you could probably get a lot of outward emotions past us, unfortunately.

6. Lack of general social awareness.

There are subtle social cues society thrives on... Ones that we might necessarily pick up on. Some of things are thing like tardiness, impoliteness, interrupting, not knowing how to flirt or what flirting is, not being concerned about what you wear (i.e., my sweatpants and no-makeup look in high school), not making eye contact when talking to people, not focusing on the task at hand, drifting off if someone's talking to you ("zoning out"), etc. Not that this is ALWAYS a bad thing (for instance, I am politically incorrect through and through and am unabashedly PROUD of it), but there are other things people like me need to know before they end up doing something reckless or dense without even realizing it.

7. We're pretty darn literal.

This ties in well to no. 2 on the list. Aspies don't go by figurative language, unless you were introduced to it early and showed the difference between figurative and literal early, as I was (I was diagnosed at age 4, so they caught me pretty early enough) -- and I'm still pretty literal. "Mommy, do the trees of the field really clap their hands?" My advice: unless they're like me, don't take advantage of that characteristic. Help them figure out the difference.

8. We may seem "anti-social" at first.

We're often by ourselves, lost in our own little world, where everything is as it should be (at least, according to us.) However, that doesn't mean we wouldn't like a friend to do things with once in a while (especially if you're a teen or 20-something Aspie.) Get to know us and become our friend, and you're stuck to us like glue. Not to mention we sometimes have trouble shutting up, once that happens.

9. Therapy, therapists and being treated different in general.

I had/have a love-hate thing for the help I've received/am receiving. I've had countless appointments down in Bethesda, MD, for social and physical therapy, numerous therapists (TSSes, and Mts -- I got a different one each year, much to my disapproval), exceptions made for me in school (in fact, in both elementary and high school I often had to meet my teachers at least a few days before classes began to let them know of my "disability" so they could make "accommodations." So embarrassing...), and so on. I particularly wanted as little exceptions made for me in school as humanly possible (and yes, am still that way in college, too.) "Why?" some of you might be wondering. "That's like having a 'cheat sheet' at your fingertips!" This is the "hate" part I dislike about the help. Let me put it this way: in the movie "Soul Surfer," famous Hawaiian surfer Bethany Hamilton gets her left arm ripped off by a shark and eventually decides to still compete in a surfing competition. The judge asks her if she would like an additional couple minute exception to swim out before everyone else, while the other competitors shoot her dirty, angry, even jealous looks. Bethany refuses the offer and later berates her best friend for trying to make another exception for her, saying that at least her rival still treated her as "real competition." That, my friend, is why. It's also why it's a courageous step for me to even write about all this, because I usually don't even tell friends, let alone the public. We may be Aspies, but we still have a sense of dignity and honor within us. Don't tarnish it and definitely don't count us out.

10. We generally don't like change.

Granted, some change is, I accept, unavoidable. And, in seldom instances, even fairly pleasant. But growing up, I absolutely HATED it; especially physical changes to the area, to the home, etc. It's not as bad for me now as it was back then, but every now and then someone or something will change in a way that will at least make me a bit annoyed/irritated (i.e., when they chopped down a few trees on my college campus. Trivial, I know, and I understand that some of said trees were rotting, but the non-rotting ones they could've let be; they just made the whole campus look nice while they were there. Big stumps/holes in the ground aren't exactly attractive, you know...)

11. We have one-track minds... Multitasking is difficult.

Although I can listen to music and bake/make crafts/write, I typically prefer it to not have words, so I can focus on the task at hand better and do it more efficiently. Many Aspies can barely multiask at all, however. (One of the therapies I had to go through was that we were forced into a room with other Aspies, with bulky headphones strapped to our heads, listening to Mozart while playing and going off to do our own thing. They would often try to get us to interact with each other, pulling out board games and the like, or, even better, the infamous "gak." People watched us behind an observation glass room, much to my annoyance.)

Pros:

1. We see the world through a usually different worldview.

Ask us our opinions on the deep questions, politics, etc. We don't think like most people, so our answers may surprise you; however, growing up in a household with a certain set of standards/rules/etc. may greatly influence our responses.

2. Just because we come off as ignoring you doesn't mean that we ARE.

Some of my teachers mistook my gazing out the window, or looking at them with a dazing, out-of-it look as not paying attention, which cost me recess a couple of times (much to my poor little heart's dismay.) In reality, my eyes were just on "screen saver," as Calvin from "Calvin and Hobbes" so eloquently put it; I don't ignore you unless I want to/am completely bored. If a teacher mentions something we need to know, I do my best to pay attention -- whether I look it or not. I earnestly try to listen and not zone out on you.

3. We're usually quite intelligent.

Some famous Aspies: Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Bill Gates, Satoshi Tariji, Temple Grandin. Enough said.

4. We all have "obsessions."

Honestly, I don't know why people always make a big deal out of this; almost everyone, not just Aspies, have something they either love and/or are passionate about. Most of our obsessions are at least relatively harmless, and, despite what I said earlier, can change. I used to be obsessed with the weather (and watching the Weather Channel), Code Lyoko, daydreaming, reading, apologetics, etc. Now, my obsessions include Pokemon, Star Wars, writing, apologetics (especially ones arguing for YEC and Christianity as a whole), shiny hunting, sometimes Naruto, etc. These obsessions often dominate conversations we have with others; we get so riled up and excited with them, it's just about all we can talk about (again -- one-track mind); in short, it poses a challenge to anyone who wants to ask us about something else/wishes to change the subject. A good way of doing that is to say (gently, politely), "I know you're excited about *insert topic*, but why don't you tell me what you think we should do for Friday night/have for supper/etc., and then we can keep talking about *insert topic*?" However, this can be great, as it can lead to an early indicator of a career that we can excel at. Note: If you've found an Aspie with an obsession that's the same as your own passion, you may have made a friend for life!

5. We're generally a sensitive, trusting, caring kind of people.

This is one of those "bittersweet" things. Just because we're tactless doesn't make us insensitive monsters; we just tend to unknowingly overlook things of a social nature. Once we get warmed up to you, we start to become more empathetic, even if it's only bit-by-bit. You'd be surprised at how loyal we can be to family and friends. We can be very sensitive, however, and we are often deeply hurt if someone tries to hurt/offend us or someone we care about. We are also trusting, but can often but TOO trusting, so much that we are naive. I myself have been told that I've "a big, caring heart" -- one of my strongest personality aspects, but also one of my greatest weaknesses; I've learned that, in this fallen world, if you have that kind of heart (which, in God's perfect world, would be a fabulous thing in and of itself) you need to also be very careful and VERY discerning, so no one takes advantage of it (I almost learned that lesson the hard way...) I tend to look for the good in people, which in itself is both a good and bad thing -- it's an even better thing if you don't completely ignore the bad (for obvious reasons.)

6. We can be "innocent-minded."

Tying somewhat into naivete, this is more of a positive aspect. We often look through life with child-like wonder (or at least, I often do); and it's no wonder -- our emotional and social maturity level is typically 2-4 years younger than our actual age (for instance, I'm 21-- so maturity-wise, I'm about 19-17 years old, which isn't too bad, if you think about it; sometimes the gap's greater.) This keeps alive the old saying, "Young at heart."

7. We often connect to both animals and God in a special way.

I fully agree (well, sometimes) with Calvin in "Calvin and Hobbes" when he says that he believes animals are better than people. While this isn't true 100 percent of the time, I will say animals often seem to take extra special care with people like me; this is probably part of the reason why many of us go horseback riding as a part of physical therapy -- the horses are often gentler and more patient with us because they sense that we're special. They don't judge us unfairly because we think, feel or behave differently than other people, and they love us just the same. Guess Who else is like that? That's right -- God. He is truly an awesome God who fully understands us, and lets us know that we, too, not just "normal" people, are "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14, NIV) That makes me think -- I wonder if any famous Biblical people were Aspies?

8. In some ways, Aspies are like "normal" people.

We love to have fun, take time just to be, learn about things we're driven about, pursue hobbies and passions and spend some time with loved ones- - just like you do. Who says you need to be "normal" to have a good time!?

I hope this article educated you and shed some light on every matter related to those with Asperger's Syndrome. As stated, this took courage to write, as it's one of my biggest "skeletons" I've well-concealed in my closet; in fact, many friends who I've confessed this to say they wouldn't have had the foggiest that I even am autistic, had I not said anything. But I realized something: no matter what others will think, only God's opinion of me is what truly matters in the end. With that in mind, I will close out with these words:

If you're a "normal" person: if you know an autistic person, whether high-functioning, low-functioning or in between, or even someone who's always all by themselves, reach out and be their friend. It's no fun being alone 24/7, even for an Aspie, and it's what Jesus would do. Be patient in befriending them; it may take time to get used to it, or for you to understand each other.

If you're an Aspie/high-functioning autistic: hang in there. There are people, believe it or not, out there who're like you and who DO care about you. They share at least some common ground (if you'll forgive my using the expression -- it means you have similar interests) with you and will gladly be your friend. If you haven't found anyone like that yet and are feeling insecure, lonely and friendless, remember, God is always there for you. Reach out to Him and lean on Him for support, and He will lift you up. Ask Him to guide you to good friends who will do the same or guide them to you.

God Bless!