It’s political season, so I hear. It seems like it’s always political season to me, but maybe that’s just because it’s been going on for so long. But the chaos that has permeated this election has everyone in a frenzy —some people endorsing one candidate, some think we’re doomed no matter what, and some people are just running about screaming and setting things on fire. I’m one of the latter, hoping at least from all this I will have a good story to tell my children about the first time I voted.
Anyway.
With all the headbutting, with all the arguments raging in these intense final few weeks before election, I would like to take this opportunity to advise you on how to argue. Not how to win an argument. How to argue. What even is ‘winning an argument’ anyway? When everyone shifts their hard-won beliefs to align with yours?
Yeah, that’s going to happen.
And if we aren’t going to ‘win’ an argument, what exactly is the point of going back and forth about your beliefs? What does it accomplish? You go into an argument believing with every fiber of your being that you are right, and the other person is wrong. No matter what, you believe you will be able to change their mind. You, dear reader, are stubborn.
It’s the same with ‘evil’ people. Everyone (except the select few psychos out there) believes they are right in what they do. You believe the villain is evil, but the villain sees you as evil.
Hitler didn’t set out to be the biggest villain of the world’s history. Ra’s al Ghul/ Damien Darhk believes he is doing the right thing when fixing the corrupt world by restarting it. The Lion King's hyenas were starving, living in the dumps among elephant bones when they decided to rebel.
Things are much more gray than they are black and white. Arguing is how you find out more about things, refine your position. It’s exploring the gray instead of sticking to the safety of black or white. It’s how we learn about ourselves, about our beliefs, it’s how we come closer to a Truth — if there is a Truth, a single answer to a question, arguing is how we would find it.
We should argue to weigh different ideas against each other. Whichever one you really truly believe is the best is the one you will adopt. But the only way to weigh ideas is to allow the ideas to simmer in your mind a bit, instead of immediately rejecting them. Don't coat your mind in idea-repellent. Have an open mind.
Having an open mind means being willing to see things from their perspective, being humble enough to admit you could be wrong, and being willing to compromise. It also means being willing to agree to disagree.
You could argue about literally anything. Even arguing — I’ve had arguments about arguing before, with my siblings. That’s one reason you need siblings — to learn how to argue. It is a constructive action, so long as you’re friends at the end of the day.
Everyone argues. Lots of people are under the impression that arguing is bad. After all, arguing = conflict = bad, and we mustn’t let on that everyone has different opinions. But remember— at the end of the day, you are responsible for you and the clarity you could gain from the argument, not for them and their stubbornness. It is okay to not 'win' an argument.
