Somewhere in the midst of midterms and absolutely zero social life, we often find ourselves daydreaming of a spring break so awesome and historic, it keeps us laughing until finals. In order to maximize your epic adventures, however, it is imperative to follow these steps accordingly.
1. Travel to a place where no one knows your name.
Recommended for you
Then your new friends won't realize the name you gave them was fake. Never make your spring break destination your hometown. This is reserved for ordinary and dull simpletons. Home will always be there, spring break only graces us once a year.
2. Be as lazy as possible and accomplish nothing productive.
Hey, you don't suffer the consequences until the day before classes start when the severe anxiety hits. Only those who have perfected procrastination are so good at their skill that they actually create more work for themselves.
3. Drink copious amounts of alcohol.
Your cup should never be empty, or leave your hand. Shower beers are a must during the week and forgetting to pack your funnel will be the worst decision of your life.
4. Use protection.
From the sun.
5. Have minimal expectations for your trip.
This way you can go with the flow, have spontaneous adventures, and become strangely excited for the minor victories. Example: I wasn't forced to choose between a full night's sleep and breakfast! Spring break is awesome!
Don't worry, spring break is closer than we know. Follow this guide in order to gain respect from your peers and be crowned the ultimate spring breaker, but try not to have any irreversible lapses of judgement.
