All I could do was stand there, blinking and listening, as I was getting shredded for speaking my mind about a friend of mine back in high school. She was calling me out, and I had nowhere to hide (like I was going to). "You are the biggest jerk I know" were the words that came out of her mouth as I stood there trying not to laugh.
This story will be told another time, but it helps to convey my point. Growing up, I was raised to be polite, have good manners at all times, and be respectful. I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough, because now it has made it hard to adjust to a wonderful adulthood. Now, I am not saying my parents raised me better than everyone else (they did), but if you are like me, you have little annoyances.
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As you go about your day, there are unwritten rules of society that we must abide by. Everyone should adhere to these unwritten rules of society, because without rules, there is chaos.
Yes, I am well aware that this may make me seem extremely rude, but it has to be said.
1. Tiptoeing in the morning so you don’t wake people up/not slamming doors.
No one likes to hear you pounding up and down the stairs like you are running down the long jump runway.
2. Smacking your mouth when you eat/biting your utensil.
Does this really need an explanation; were you raised in a barn?
3. Volume level... TV, music, loudly texting. Don't.
Look, I love watching or listening to music with full surround sound or on a speaker. But it is 7 a.m.; stop blasting music like we are at a KISS concert.
4. Small irritating noises.
Constant sniffling, heaving breathing, and excessive coughing are all absurd.
5. Don't use slang in real life (bae, bruh/brah, lol).
We aren't verbal texting, speak like an adult.
6. Unnecessary sad social media posting.
Stop doing this for attention and handle it like an adult.
7. Cursing.
Know your surroundings. Watch the F-Bombs around your mother and children. Or face the consequences...
8. Acting all pompous and pretentious.
We get it, you are a vegan. Don't force it upon me. Would you like a medal?
9. Keep your personal life to yourself.
Don't discuss your feelings with me. Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.
10. PDA... keep it to a minimum.
Or take it to the bedroom.
11. Movie theater etiquette.
Don't text, don't obnoxiously chomp on your popcorn, and for the love of God, please don't kick my seat.
12. Smoking.
I don't care if you smoke, but don't blow it in my face. I need my lungs for running and because I want to live.
13. Slurping your beverage.
I will smack your drink out of your hand. You were probably the kid in elementary school who put their entire mouth on the drinking faucet.
14. Coughing.
This was partially listed earlier, but cover your mouth. You look odd violently throwing your body around; just cover your mouth.
15. Cell phone etiquette.
Put down your cell phone when someone is talking to you/vice-versa. I highly doubt the conversation on your five inch screen is more important than the face-to-face conversation taking place. Or this will happen.
As I typed this, I realized this may make me sound like a bit of a tool, a jerk, or even a social assassin. But know your role; abide by these unwritten rules of society. If you don't, then as my brother Donnie would say, don't be odd.
