I think it all started with my mother. Her love for chocolatey goodness, chips, desserts, and cookies. My mother loved those things. If she didn’t have dinner, sure enough, there was a Snicker's and Doritos by her side. No matter what, I always had a memory of my mom eating something sweet. My father didn’t crave sweets like we did. He preferred sodas like Pepsi's and Coco-Cola. I suspect that’s where I get my carbonated drink addiction from. I always need a Sprite when I eat or I’ll feel like I’m choking on my food. Plus, there's nothing like having a good soda with a meal.

Anyway, this addiction ran in the family. My grandfather on my mom’s side preferred cookies; my grandmother, ice cream; and my sister loved anything chocolate and had a love affair with ice cream. Hmmm - my brother though, was an odd one. He didn’t eat many sweets. Like, he did, but not enough to cause an addiction that my sister I had.

How do I know this? Well, he’s never had more than one cavity every few years. My sister and I are a different story. At one point, I had 10 cavities at one time. It was beautifully horrific (candy wasn’t the only reason I had cavities, so don’t judge me). Sometimes I ate candy, knowing it was going to give me cavities. Like for example, back when I lived in San Francisco I was introduced to this candy called Hi-Chew. Let me tell you those candies were pure destruction on my teeth. I literally eat them every blue moon. Mostly because they're so freaking expensive. They were that hard, chewable candy that, as you bit into it, you could practically feel the crack in your teeth…(I can feel it now, just thinking about it).

Sweets are the one thing that I can depend on. My favorites are these little gummy sour snakes that I get from Walgreens. I also love Twix and Reese’s, and these new gummy watermelon candies that I’m addicted to. I also love Oreos. And you know those little Royal Dansk cookies that seem to come out in bulk around the holidays? Those are freaking delicious!!!

Anything filled with caramel, peanut butter, or that's chewy. I love.
I didn’t know how to get over this addiction, there were no support groups, nothing. And I'll be damned if I was going to go cold turkey. Candy was like scratching that phantom itch. It’s something I needed to have.
Yesterday I ate a Baby Ruth because I was so badly in need of a fix…I don’t even like Baby Ruths, but surprisingly they're actually pretty good. So that's cool I guess.

Right now, at this very moment, I have nothing; no candy whatsoever, no sweets to feel the void, nothing to keep the pain away. Nothing to make the light at the end of the tunnel that less far away.

Hi, my name is Ivana, and I’m a candy addict.