I sat around for the longest time thinking about what I was going to write about — four days to be exact (that’s how long I had to write this). At first I thought I was going to write a “Get to Know Me” or a “My College Experience” article. But then I started writing. And if you are a writer you know that your rough draft isn’t always the same as the final product. So I thought it would be wise to jump into it and edit later so that I could actually get some words on the page. It is much more productive that way.

Then it dawned on me: what if I write about procrastination? Everyone can relate to that! Yes, even I wait until the last minute to get things done, as you can tell from reading the very first sentence. I procrastinate on absolutely everything! I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know how I manage to maintain good grades, a healthy lifestyle, a workout routine, or even obtain the required amount of sleep for an 18 year old. I guess I am just a natural at fully completing tasks at the last minute. And the work itself is quite well done, I might add. Now I know what you are thinking, wow I procrastinate too and make terrible grades and I never get any sleep because I regularly pull all-nighters to do homework. Well let me tell you, it takes years and years of practice to get as good as I am at perfecting procrastinated work. But I will let you in on a few secrets in order to help you become the perfect procrastinator! You can thank me later!

I am going to use the example of homework assignments in school to give you a foundation. The first step in becoming a perfect procrastinator is to start your Mondays off by thinking about the assignments that you have to do and when they are due. That way you are holding yourself accountable for everything. Make sure to write it all down somewhere so that you can refer back to it when you need to start working on the assignment. The next step, after feeling very productive and on top of everything, is to think about when you are actually going to work on the assignments. Make a schedule and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to complete each assignment.

Now that you have a schedule, you are finally ready to do the work. It is Monday evening and you are about to start your first assignment of the week. But wait, you haven’t eaten and you are really hungry so you gather a group of friends to have dinner before you do your homework. Dinner takes twice as long as you thought it would so you start to feel very nervous about getting your homework done on time. As soon as you get home, you sit at your desk and finally begin to glue your eyes to your history textbook. But once you start reading, you realize that it isn’t due until Wednesday and since there is only one chapter to read, you decide that it is okay to wait until Tuesday to read it.

Tuesday rolls around and you look at the schedule that you made. You find out that you have an English essay that is due on Wednesday also so you have to do both assignments on Tuesday night. At this point you are getting really stressed out so you decide that you need to take a nap to rest your brain and prepare it for all of the work you have to do. You wake up startled, grab your phone to check the time and it’s 6:00 a.m.; your English class starts at 8:00 a.m. and you haven’t even started the essay. You decide that because you are a good writer you are going to write all that you can in those two hours and turn in what you have. An hour and a half later you finally finish the essay! You are extremely excited and relieved to have finished it on time. You take it to class with a huge smile on your face, proud of what you have accomplished. You hand it in to your teacher and sit down at your desk still smiling, only to realize a few minutes later that you forgot to read the chapter you were supposed to read for history.

Like I said, it takes years and years of practice so don’t get discouraged if you aren’t a perfect procrastinator on your first attempt. I hope you will put these steps to good use! That is all I have for you now! Unfortunately, I have to go make flash cards for an art history quiz that I have tomorrow morning because sometimes, I wait until the last minute.