Hey there friends. It's very nice to meet you. Let's talk. How are you? I'm fine, but we'll talk about me later. I wrote something for you, because it's something I wish someone had written for me when I was touring the world convincing strangers I was an almighty wizard in high school.
I write this letter to you to remind you that things are going to be okay, even if things aren't okay right now. If things aren't okay right now, let them not be okay. It's okay to not be okay.
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I know it sounds a little convoluted, but let me explain.
I write this letter to you to tell you that sometimes your dreams will be out of reach. Very far out of reach. Like from here to Alaska far. But it's up to you if you choose to walk, run or hijack a private jet like an action movie star to get there.
I write this letter as a student who graduated from high school and got the chance to go to college. I also write this letter to you as a college dropout, devastated to leave the life he built. Most importantly, I write this letter as a man who is unsure of standard high school visitor policies and is choosing to update his former educators in a pseudo-inspirational letter to a group of strangers who don't know me.
Just kidding.
I write this letter as a man who wishes to share his wisdom (whatever little there is) with a group of students who may experience the same, if not similar, setbacks.
Let me share some advice with you, reader. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life (I am). I'm not going to tell you that if you believe hard enough, "it" will happen (it won't). I'm not going to push my unpopular opinions on you (I don’t like sushi). My (unsolicited) advice is this; The only things you're going to get done are the things you do.
When I graduated from Joliet Central in 2011, I felt like a pretty self-serving adult. I was on my way to my dream college and was ready to humblebrag about the private college I had gotten in to, perfecting the way I would tell people that "you've probably never heard of my college" and "a U.S. President went there." Yawn.
I joined a few activities, some fraternities, an improv group, held two jobs, made many friends and still went to class every day. So imagine my surprise when I got a phone call after I moved in for the second semester of my junior year, saying that I was late on payments and had to exit. Two weeks before my birthday. Cool.
I would spend the next week of my life tying up loose ends at school and the following week eating everything in my house and while doing my best Jabba the Hutt impression on my couch. I tried to pick my life up, broken into a hundred pieces at my feet, only to step on the pieces and cut my foot.
It's important to know that I lied to myself my first few weeks home. I told myself it was going to be okay and that I was okay. It was not okay. I was not okay. And no one told me that it was okay to not be okay. Or at least I didn't listen. When you're depressed, you tend to ignore people because usually people are wrong. Do yourself a favor and try to hear out everyone, but listen to the people that love you. They're trying; being sad doesn't mean you can be rude.
So after half a month of being sad, I spent another month learning that it's okay to not be okay. I refused to inform friends in town that I was home and that I had "failed" to finish school, only to learn they love me and don't care and could care less in the best way. I applied to about 30 jobs before I finally got a call at the end of February. No one tells you how hard it is to apply for tons of jobs and not get a phone call.
To the students who choose not to go to college, I salute you. That part of my life was hard. The one piece of advice I give to you is to never stop being persistent. If you want or need a job, call them, tell them how much that job means to you and keep calling until you get it. Then go back to school because we need more persistent people in higher education.
I was told when I exited that I could return to school after paying off the remaining debt (I didn’t). I spent part of the first month hoping that someone played a cruel joke and I was part of some crazy psychology experiment (I wasn't) and that I didn't have to sell myself to managers and supervisors to make a 4 digit sum of money to get back to school (I had to).
This is the part where you have to push yourself to do. I could sit around and wait patiently for someone to take pity on me and pay off all my debt and for everything to be okay. But that's not how it works. Waiting around is the worst thing in the world. It's boring. You don't do anything else but wait. And it's annoying when you see your peers succeeding and you're just stuck. You're just watching and waiting.
Stop waiting; start doing.
I've spent that year my life doing and I encourage you to do the same. If you ever feel at any moment that you are standing still and waiting, start doing something. Get a job, volunteer, argue with your friends about your emotional attachment to television shows and fictional characters. I am Leslie Knope and I will argue with anyone about Amy Poehler's Parks and Recreations character and how she is what everyone should strive to be. Watch an episode or twelve. Or binge watch all of them on Netflix. You'll get it.
Either way, you learn about yourself when you do almost anything else besides waiting. Since dropping out of school and working, I've learned that I still want to get my degree and become a grant writer. As I write this I have since transferred to an amazing university full of people who care about my success. I have also learned I want to pursue a career in comedy and that everyone who has ever told you coming back home is the worst thing to do are actually the worst people. I've also learned that even though I thought I was always "doing," I've been waiting for much too long.
I thank you for doing me a solid and reading this. You didn't have to. I hope I inspired you to "do." If you're already doing, keep doing. Keep doing until you're okay. And when it isn't okay, tell yourself you're not okay and work on it. Keep doing. Stop waiting.
What are waiting for? Take a break from what you think you're doing and do something else. Unless you love what you're doing. Then do that.
