Every year we make a promise ourselves. We're going to do things such as making better choices, becoming a better version of ourselves, eating healthier, losing weight or even spending less money. In the beginning, we start off strong and stick to our promises, but once a new Oreo flavor comes out, some must-have item is released or something happens in our lives, it all goes downhill from there.

I am in no way saying that this applies to everyone, nor am I implying that having more than one resolution or goal and completing those goals well is impossible. There are plenty of things that were capable of doing, however piling up on the pressure of trying to accomplish five major resolutions is just stupid. We're humans, therefore, we do have weaknesses and sometimes those weaknesses are found from trying to do too much and we crack under the pressure.

People have the expectation that things are going to happen or change overnight. We wake up on January 1st and say today is the day I'm going to start my journey to lose 50lbs, spend less and not be as horrible of person this year. All of those are great goals and there isn't anything wrong with wanting to accomplish that over the course of the year, however, those are also major things that take strong will power. Personally, I would rather focus on one major change that I want to make and have mini accomplishments so I feel some sort of success than try and cram five big resolutions in at once and feel like a failure when I give up because it's too much.

Maybe compromise with yourself, so instead of feeling the pressure of losing the 50lbs start with 20 or 25 and go from there. Instead of making four trips to Starbucks every day, make your coffee at home and only go every now and then, or if you must, cut your trips down to once a day. Buy a bag of carrot cake flavored Oreos but maybe invite some friends over to catch up for tea and serve them allowing yourself to have them but not all of them. The chances of being able to keep your resolution will be more realistic if you are able to keep your mind on one major thing as opposed to five.

Having one resolution can be hard enough and I feel as though adding more and more things that take time and focus might be spreading yourself thin while making things more stressful than they have to be. Like in everything else you have to find what works best for YOU to succeed. 365 days may seem like a long time but it really isn't. I just don't think trying to cram more than one life-changing goals into such a limited amount of time it the best way to utilize time and energy.

My New Years Resolution for 2019 is to focus on me and my wellbeing. For me, self-care doesn't really exist and I think that's part of why I struggled through a good part of 2018. I put others before myself. I would cover all the shifts I could, meaning I might have been working 10 days straight before my next day off. I'm not going to lie, but the money was part of why I did it, the other reason being I felt like I couldn't say no. I wanted to be seen as a team player and someone who is respected for being flexible with everyone's schedule.

Even if it wasn't with work, I put everyone else's problems and crises ahead of my own, my argument being, that it was a distraction from my own issues. I figured if I didn't talk about it they a. wouldn't exist and b. I wouldn't be an annoyance to others. I do genuinely care and want to help my friends, but I cared more about them than I did about my own (especially when dealing with my OCD and anxiety). So I bottled those feelings up, and in the long run, it probably didn't do me any favors. I thought I was a pain in everyone's ass and that people put up with me (especially when messes and screw-ups at work were involved).

This year, I am going to work on not keeping things bottled up, not thinking negatively about myself and get my confidence back. I won't cover a shift If I don't want to, If I make a mistake, so what? We're human, we all make mistakes. But, most importantly, I'm not going to hate myself for making those mistakes. I can guarantee you I won't need a reminder because chances are I will, but I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. I just can't be that version if I'm trying to make too many changes.