Not to be dramatic, but Christmas literally is the best time of the year. I'm not just saying that because it's basic and what everyone else says. Like, try to name any other time of the year that comes close. February? I am lonely. October? Halloween lasts for one day. March? Nothing happens in March. But December. That is my safe space. But with the love of Christmas comes a ridiculous amount of traditions, many being overhyped or slept on. Today, we are going to cover my unpopular opinions on Christmas.
All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey
HEAR ME OUT. HEAR. ME. OUT. I love this song so much and think that Mariah is a legend. But I am so tired of everyone scampering around and giggling as they say that this song is the BEST SONG EVER. A song cannot be your personality. Like, it's good. It's festive. But calm down.
Holiday Drinks (@starbucks i see u)
GiphyThough this really starts in like October or something (i am the least invested person in pumpkin spice lattes), the bulk of holiday beverages start the second I finish my Thanksgiving dinner. I just don't really get too excited over the selection of peppermint/snickerdoodle/pine tree/ash from my yule log drinks. They're fine. Like, if you hand me one for free, I'll sip on it. If you ask me to pay, I will not sip on it.
Christmas Caroling
GiphyGuysssss. This one is just a LOT. On the caroling side, I don't want to walk around with a bunch of overachieving women from the local church choir and sing Deck The Halls for 3 hours straight. On the victim's side, this is just awkward. What do I do while you serenade me? Smile? Film you? Sing along? Yikes.
Santa Claus
GiphySomething just bothers me about him. It's too easy to be like "oh haha so creepy he sneaks in your house at night". It's not even that, I just don't vibe with Santa. What's the logic of his year-round elf workshop? Y'all are NOT making toys for the entire year. There simply is no way. And then kids are expected to believe he's just visiting your local mall in Akron, Ohio (sorry Akron natives)? I don't know guys. I don't know.
Gingerbread cookies
GiphySLEPT ON! I am tired of people roasting gingerbread cookies. No one likes them because they're eating the cardboard-like boards of "cookie" when making a gingerbread house. No. Eat an actual gingerbread cookie. They're fire and underrated and I'm tired of the disrespect.
Peppermint bark
Food NetworkIt's like, *fine*. There are plenty of other desserts that I would eat (gingerbread) over this. It's just a lot and PLS do not gift me with a huge tin of peppermint bark at the next gift exchange we have, because I'll end up putting it in my sorority's kitchen and never touching it again.
Eggnog
Remove this from the planet.
Engagement/Marriage
GiphyChristmas is magical. So magical, even when you spend it in Florida and it's 80 degrees on Christmas and you're sweating through your fleece pajamas. This being said, I do not love Christmas weddings. They stress me out. Do it at a boring time. Like March. What happens in March? Nothing. Also, engagements. Do not dare gift someone an engagement ring when I was about to give them a 5$ pack of socks from Target. Just like, enjoy your holiday and drink or something. Propose on NYE.
Michael Buble in general
Sorry. He's average. I could live without him.
Mistletoe
GiphyIt's only being put on this list because I know everyone is expecting me to be like "omg this is so annoying #forever #alone hahah" but it's kinda sweet. I have never partaken in the kiss-under-the-mistletoe, and honestly? Would love to partake in that. Until that happens, I'm gonna let the happy couples be happy. For now.
Cheers to me having an issue with quite literally everything, including Christmas!
