Usually, when one imagines Thanksgiving, it’s something out of a Hallmark movie. Candles litter the table and flicker as Dad carves the turkey and Mom leads the family in saying grace. Grandma’s famous pumpkin pie just came out of the oven, and the whole house smells like your stereotypical Thanksgiving. While all of this is grand and all, it isn’t everything. The spirit of Thanksgiving doesn’t solely exist with your biological family, it exists wherever you can make it exist, with the family of your creation. No matter where you are or how you celebrate, you can still stop, take a moment, and be thankful. That’s what Thanksgiving is all about isn’t it?

This year, I wasn’t able to go home to celebrate with my family. I was fortunate enough to spend Thanksgiving with an amazing, extremely welcoming friend, but it was far from that imagined holiday earlier. It was a strange combination of finally feeling like an adult and also feeling much farther away from home than normal. To add an extra layer of strange, the friend I was staying with lived in the town I had grown up but not been back to since leaving before high school. My surroundings were familiar, yet unfamiliar and the friends I had made while living there were mostly different memories. While it was a version of coming home, it definitely wasn’t truly home. Yet, it was an experience that was good for me to have, as it truly was a “grown-up” experience. For the first time, I was pursuing a life outside of my immediate family, and it felt weird, yet good. Independence isn’t a bad thing, and this was a small start to my life as an adult, where I might not be able to make it home for each holiday. Of course, it’s a little bumming for the first time, but it’s not the worst that it could be. After all, I could have none of the things I have in my life that I am extremely thankful for.

While Thanksgiving is an extremely family-oriented holiday, it is perfectly okay, and almost normal, to celebrate in an untraditional manner. It builds more bridges, and in many ways, it builds more family. For some, I feel as though family is very finite. Family is composed of parents and siblings and aunts and uncles. But for me, friends are family, too. Having Thanksgiving with an invented family, while unorthodox, is in many ways just as rewarding. You still get the feeling of eating way too many mashed potatoes, and being surrounded by people that care about you. Family is what you make it, and in a pinch it’s always better to have more family than less.

And yes, it’s not perfect, and yes, I ate someone else’s grandma’s pumpkin pie (it was still pretty damn good), and yes, it was still Thanksgiving. And that’s more than enough to be thankful for.