English majors have some of the most flexible minds in the world. We see the world in many different ways, through the characters in books we read and stories we write. Empathy and our way with words are our super powers; with them, we can create and destroy.
Literature, articles, poems - the written word is the most powerful tool ever created. Required reading may seem boring at first (who wants to read Lord Byron and the Romantics when Walt Whitman and the Modernists are enchanting you with their new perspectives and social commentary?) but every new thing you read changes you, and no one knows that better than an English nerd. Stereotypes say we are the bookworms; quiet, reserved, writing enigmatic poetry, and throwing around our broad vocabulary like the Oxford English Dictionary is our life blood (not to say that it isn’t at least a little bit). In reality, English majors are so much more than that. Some of the coolest and most genuine people I have ever met have been English majors. We sign up for this because it is our passion, not because it sounds like you can buy a yacht in the future. Follow your passion and you will always be successful.
Now that all the fluffy stuff is written, let’s move onto things that we relate to because we chose the literary life:
1. We do an uncomfortable amount of people watching, and possibly social media stalking.
If we are staring at you, you are probably going to become a character. We are low key writing your life story in our heads and you have no say over it.
2. Always writing and making notes.
We carry notebooks, laptops, and, in a pinch, our phone’s notepad to keep our ideas and thoughts ready for when we need them. Our minds never rest.
3. Always reading
We aren’t trying to be rude when we are reading instead of talking to you. We just really love books.
4. NO SLEEP.
We are always up late reading, writing, procrastinating, and scrolling through Tumblr and Facebook while pretending to be productive.
5. Dark senses of humor.
We often have a dark sense of humor, and may be thinking of ways to kill people for a story. Nothing personal.
6. Glasses are a common accessory.
Yes, typical, but 90 percent of the English majors I know have glasses or contacts.
7. We all have a favorite author.
Have a few hours to spare? Ask us about who this person is.
8. The papers are endless.
So many essays, so little time. We are expert procrastinators, so we always have very little time.
9. Most likely in love with a fictional character.
Mr. Darcy, Holden Caulfield, Ophelia… we are all just looking for the Dash to our Lily, the Hazel to our Augustus. And we wish they were all real.
10. We know we have to get a real job.
Because “struggling author” is not a career - it’s a hobby.
11. We will go on to have incredible adventures.
Wherever we end up, we will make the best of it. We can imagine anything and make it happen, even if it is vicariously, through our books and writing.
